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Thread: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

  1. #321
    pain is temporary pride is forever
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    A mutual friend of mine is sort of like this. She’s younger and less experienced so I don’t begrudge her for that. Well one time, My friend asked her out, but she declined as she was too ‘busy’. My friend is like me… he didn’t wait around and asked her friend out. The chick in question was actually upset at the friend. The friend as the type of girl who goes after what she wants. She got it. With guys, we have either a Yes, or No when it comes to women. With women it’s a ‘ I like him , but not really, yet im ****ed they aren’t hitting on me even though im unavailable and now im upset’.

    So crazy tech fan, my advice to you. Either make it happen or move along. Step up and take what you want. If you’re not interested, move along. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Believe me, this maturity in women goes a long way for guys like me who have plenty of options.
    "Look to the end, no matter what it is you are considering. Often enough, God gives man a glimpse of happiness, and then utterly ruins him"

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  2. #322
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Legit.

  3. #323
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Quote Originally Posted by crazytechfan View Post
    A) he's 24
    B) he's tried, I shot him down twice
    C) I call him a manwhore as I know a handful of girls he has slept with
    A Handful makes someone a manwhore? Really?
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    Minding the gap MinnesotaNorthStar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shirtless Guy View Post
    A Handful makes someone a manwhore? Really?
    Only if it's within a week...

  5. #325
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Quote Originally Posted by crazytechfan View Post
    A) he's 24
    B) he's tried, I shot him down twice
    C) I call him a manwhore as I know a handful of girls he has slept with
    At this point your story is full of so many holes it's entertaining in its own right. Stop posting until you get your story straight.

    Quote Originally Posted by unh_hockey View Post
    A mutual friend of mine is sort of like this. She’s younger and less experienced so I don’t begrudge her for that. Well one time, My friend asked her out, but she declined as she was too ‘busy’. My friend is like me… he didn’t wait around and asked her friend out. The chick in question was actually upset at the friend. The friend as the type of girl who goes after what she wants. She got it. With guys, we have either a Yes, or No when it comes to women. With women it’s a ‘ I like him , but not really, yet im ****ed they aren’t hitting on me even though im unavailable and now im upset’.

    So crazy tech fan, my advice to you. Either make it happen or move along. Step up and take what you want. If you’re not interested, move along. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Believe me, this maturity in women goes a long way for guys like me who have plenty of options.
    Well said.

  6. #326
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shirtless Guy View Post
    A Handful makes someone a manwhore? Really?
    Well, this is a handful that I know, in the past few months.

    And I apologize for the gaps in the story, I guess I forget to share some parts here and there.

  7. #327
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Long post, kinda rambling. You've been warned.

    OK, so there's a new girl at work that I'm interested in, but I'm having some issues with getting to know her. My friends at work are being particularly unhelpful with giving me advice, so I figured I'd see if you guys have any input.

    She's been working there about a month now, in reception. I work downstairs, and we have very little direct work interaction. A couple of paperwork exchanges a week, and she transfers calls to us, and that's pretty much it. Any other chances to get to talk to her are pretty much just in passing around the store on our own business, usually me walking past her desk, which I do on average maybe 2 or 3 times a day, sometimes not at all. And, more often than not, she's busy talking to somebody, on the phone, or just not at her desk. None of this makes it very easy to get any conversation going. Her job's pretty relaxed when she's not busy talking to somebody, so I'm not worried about causing any problems by talking to her, I just don't really get many chances to do so. And even when I do... well, I kinda suck at breaking the ice, making small-talk, all that. So the "conversations" are usually REALLY short, along the lines of a friendly hi/hey/what's up/how's it going, and an appropriate response.

    I FINALLY thought I had an opportunity to break the ice and get some back-and-forth conversation going this Monday, as I'd heard she went out of town for the weekend. I figured that I'd start with something low-key and ask if she'd had a good weekend, or something along those lines, and give her a chance to answer back with whatever she'd been doing, and see if I could take it from there. Unfortunately, I only went by her desk twice that day, once she wasn't even there, and the other time she had to answer a call just as I was coming around the corner, so I never even got to say hi that day, so that opportunity is effectively gone. Yeah, I know I could try the same thing next weekend, but I just knew for a fact she was doing something out of the ordinary this weekend, which should give a better chance of a conversation starting.

    I don't really think I've scared her off or anything. In fact, she seems to be warming up to me slightly. Shortly after she started, she seemed a little standoffish, usually just giving me a quick, polite smile (maybe with a quiet "hi") and then quickly looking away, and that would be it. At the same time, I was really not at all comfortable talking with her, usually matter-of-factly rushed through whatever work-related conversation we had, and whether I showed it or not, I felt kinda flustered. Since then, I've tried slowing it down, opening with a smile, and am generally more comfortable, and she seems to be reciprocating. The other day I was messing with my bike after I got there in the morning, and she had just pulled in, but I didn't notice she was there. From across the parking lot, she called out a good morning to me, and waved. So, I'm hoping it's not too late for me to try to get something going.

    I just can't for the life of me figure out HOW to get more, better chances to talk to her, or at least make the chances I do get more productive. I'd like to get to the point where I could just go up on my lunch and BS with her for a few minutes, just because I want to and not because work gives me the chance, without it feeling awkward or forced. But to do that, I need to get a better comfort level between us, and effectively break the ice. She's even given a couple chances, intentional or not, but I just choke in the moment. Case in point, a little while back she came down with some paperwork, when my favorite band of all time was on the radio. She hung out for 10-15 seconds or so, and then told me she was jealous, because we got to listen to good music down there. A prime chance to answer back with SOMETHING, but I couldn't think of anything to say until just after she'd left

    Sorry if this is a bit rambly or disjointed. It's late and I need to get to sleep, but I wanted to get this off my chest. If anybody has any advice, suggestions, input, whatever, I'd REALLY appreciate it. I really don't know if this has much of a chance of going anywhere, but it's actually pretty rare that I have this much of an interest in someone beyond "wow, she's cute", and I just have a feeling that she's gonna be one of those few girls that I'm really gonna regret if I don't try to do something.

  8. #328
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Don't dip your pen in the company inkwell.

  9. #329
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Don't listen to Goldy, he doesn't know what he's talking about.

    Start texting her pictures of your junk. It'll turn her on and you'll be in.
    Having a clear conscience just means you have a bad memory or you had a boring weekend.

    RIP - Kirby

  10. #330
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Quote Originally Posted by goldy_331 View Post
    Don't dip your pen in the company inkwell.
    Agreed. While it's tempting to chase tail at work, you need to keep in mind that if things don't work out between the two of you, there's a very real possibility of the rest of your coworkers becoming privy to the sordid details. The only real benefit of "not interacting directly with her in a professional capacity" is that it insulates you from potential sexual harassment claims made by her (since she isn't a subordinate and is barely a coworker).

    And don't listen to bbdl - he puts his company card in bar whores' bras.

  11. #331
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Just approach her and ask if she'd like to grab a drink or dinner sometime. Worst thing she can do is say no.

  12. #332
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Quote Originally Posted by goldy_331 View Post
    Don't dip your pen in the company inkwell.
    agreed. Probably better off seeing if she has a sister. If there's an office relationship, and then a breakup, it could be ugly for the both of you.
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  13. #333
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bakunin View Post
    And don't listen to bbdl - he puts his company card in bar whores' bras.
    You say that like its a bad thing
    Having a clear conscience just means you have a bad memory or you had a boring weekend.

    RIP - Kirby

  14. #334
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Quote Originally Posted by AKJD View Post
    Long post, kinda rambling. You've been warned.

    OK, so there's a new girl at work that I'm interested in, but I'm having some issues with getting to know her. My friends at work are being particularly unhelpful with giving me advice, so I figured I'd see if you guys have any input.

    She's been working there about a month now, in reception. I work downstairs, and we have very little direct work interaction. A couple of paperwork exchanges a week, and she transfers calls to us, and that's pretty much it. Any other chances to get to talk to her are pretty much just in passing around the store on our own business, usually me walking past her desk, which I do on average maybe 2 or 3 times a day, sometimes not at all. And, more often than not, she's busy talking to somebody, on the phone, or just not at her desk. None of this makes it very easy to get any conversation going. Her job's pretty relaxed when she's not busy talking to somebody, so I'm not worried about causing any problems by talking to her, I just don't really get many chances to do so. And even when I do... well, I kinda suck at breaking the ice, making small-talk, all that. So the "conversations" are usually REALLY short, along the lines of a friendly hi/hey/what's up/how's it going, and an appropriate response.

    I FINALLY thought I had an opportunity to break the ice and get some back-and-forth conversation going this Monday, as I'd heard she went out of town for the weekend. I figured that I'd start with something low-key and ask if she'd had a good weekend, or something along those lines, and give her a chance to answer back with whatever she'd been doing, and see if I could take it from there. Unfortunately, I only went by her desk twice that day, once she wasn't even there, and the other time she had to answer a call just as I was coming around the corner, so I never even got to say hi that day, so that opportunity is effectively gone. Yeah, I know I could try the same thing next weekend, but I just knew for a fact she was doing something out of the ordinary this weekend, which should give a better chance of a conversation starting.

    I don't really think I've scared her off or anything. In fact, she seems to be warming up to me slightly. Shortly after she started, she seemed a little standoffish, usually just giving me a quick, polite smile (maybe with a quiet "hi") and then quickly looking away, and that would be it. At the same time, I was really not at all comfortable talking with her, usually matter-of-factly rushed through whatever work-related conversation we had, and whether I showed it or not, I felt kinda flustered. Since then, I've tried slowing it down, opening with a smile, and am generally more comfortable, and she seems to be reciprocating. The other day I was messing with my bike after I got there in the morning, and she had just pulled in, but I didn't notice she was there. From across the parking lot, she called out a good morning to me, and waved. So, I'm hoping it's not too late for me to try to get something going.

    I just can't for the life of me figure out HOW to get more, better chances to talk to her, or at least make the chances I do get more productive. I'd like to get to the point where I could just go up on my lunch and BS with her for a few minutes, just because I want to and not because work gives me the chance, without it feeling awkward or forced. But to do that, I need to get a better comfort level between us, and effectively break the ice. She's even given a couple chances, intentional or not, but I just choke in the moment. Case in point, a little while back she came down with some paperwork, when my favorite band of all time was on the radio. She hung out for 10-15 seconds or so, and then told me she was jealous, because we got to listen to good music down there. A prime chance to answer back with SOMETHING, but I couldn't think of anything to say until just after she'd left

    Sorry if this is a bit rambly or disjointed. It's late and I need to get to sleep, but I wanted to get this off my chest. If anybody has any advice, suggestions, input, whatever, I'd REALLY appreciate it. I really don't know if this has much of a chance of going anywhere, but it's actually pretty rare that I have this much of an interest in someone beyond "wow, she's cute", and I just have a feeling that she's gonna be one of those few girls that I'm really gonna regret if I don't try to do something.
    First, don't listen to people who say avoid potential relationships with persons with whom you work. The workplace is one of the tried and true locations where many permanent, good relationships are formed. Either at or through work is probably the most reliable and likely source of meeting your prospective spouse or significant other.

    However, there are rules, and you need to follow them closely.

    First, my advice is to stop trying to break the ice, or strike up some sort of bond with her at work. That's what neither of you are being paid to do, and it creates a chance that you will make her feel very uncomfortable, or concerned she will get caught by her supervisor gabbing with you when she should be working.

    Instead, try to get involved in company related activities that happen outside the workplace. Happy hours, company picnics, softball or broomball teams, office parties, etc..., are much better opportunities to just socialize with your co-workers and "break the ice" as you put it.

    Nothing prevents you from being the organizer. If you have any friends, single or otherwise, with whom you work, suggest gathering at a local watering hole after work on a Friday, and see that she and others at work get invited. She'll feel like there is safety in numbers, and even if nothing works out with this girl, you might make some new friends or hook up with another girl through one of your co-workers. Encourage the married people of your age group at work to invite their spouses. Through co-workers wives is a great opportunity to break the ice with girls like this, or gain some intel on her interest in you.

    Next rule is "no means no." At work, more than anyplace else, if you don't get some immediate interest from her, back off. If she even begins to feel like you are stalking her by approaching her desk or sending her emails, or pursuing her too heavily, she will complain. It is vitally important that you act in the most professional way possible.

    Good luck.
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Quote Originally Posted by bigblue_dl View Post
    You say that like its a bad thing
    It's a bad thing until it works (since your VM was programmed by MNS, the tactic has not officially worked).

  16. #336
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    A few points regarding the whole "company ink" argument.

    First off, I'm not even talking about getting to that point right now. Like I said, there's a whole host of reasons it might not even get there. Right now, I just want to get to know her. I have quite literally zero female friends at the moment, so even if that's as far it goes, that's better than nothing.

    The company culture is also conducive towards it. Heck, one of the top people in the entire company is married to someone at work, and they met back when the two of them were in quite similar positions within the company as we are now. And aside from that situation, there's been several other instances of people getting "involved" with each other, some with a high potential for the whole sordid details gossip situation, and it didn't go that way. The only reason I know as much as I do about one of them, is because I'm good friends with one of the involved parties, and regularly have to work with the other. If THAT situation didn't end up causing issues, I'm really not worried about this one.

    Finally, almost my entire social circle involves people from work, so meeting new people is kinda limited. It's kinda a take-what-you-can-get situation in that regard. The last time I was this interested in getting to know somebody, I hesitated because of something quite along the lines of the company ink thing, and to this day I regret not acting on it.

    Anyway, if things do go well and it looks like it could go further, then I'll give the whole thing some careful thought. But at this point, this is where things stand in that regard.

    I may try the whole junk-texting approach though. I mean really, how could that go wrong?

  17. #337
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Quote Originally Posted by AKJD View Post
    Finally, almost my entire social circle involves people from work, so meeting new people is kinda limited. It's kinda a take-what-you-can-get situation in that regard. The last time I was this interested in getting to know somebody, I hesitated because of something quite along the lines of the company ink thing, and to this day I regret not acting on it.
    Well, in this case, the answer is easy. Your social circle already involves people from work. So I'm guessing that you already go out with work friends, or all go to this event or meet up for drinks on a Saturday night, etc. Next time there is an opportunity, just say "hey we're all going to go out for drinks after work today(friday), if you're interested, you're welcome to join us." Done.
    Having a clear conscience just means you have a bad memory or you had a boring weekend.

    RIP - Kirby

  18. #338
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Quote Originally Posted by bigblue_dl View Post
    Don't listen to Goldy, he doesn't know what he's talking about.

    Start texting her pictures of your junk. It'll turn her on and you'll be in.
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  19. #339
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    Quote Originally Posted by MinnesotaNorthStar View Post
    Worked for BrettFavre....
    No it didn't.
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    Re: Singles Part 14: Come Get Some!

    I'm back. Who moved my comfy chair?

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