It has been discovered by a professor at UC-Berkley that there is a direct inverse correlation between Neil Young’s songs reaching the top of the Top 40 chart and climate change. Dr. Confucius Liberale who is the lead researcher says that as climate change has increased, the quality of Neil Young’s songwriting and performing career have gone down. He said “during the 60’ and early 70’s as Neil’s songs were immensely popular, there was no evidence of climate change, but as there has become more and more evidence of climate change, songs written and performed by Young have become crappier and crappier.” Further, “I used to immensely enjoy his music, but today I’d rather listen to a dentist drill”.
While Confucius has not been able to establish causality due to a lack of funding during the Trump administration, he hopes once a Democrat administration returns he can receive adequate funding for further research. “People used to listen to the radio rather than watch television, but with the crappie music being put out on the market they have watched television more and more, requiring an increasing amount of energy derived from dead dinosaurs, which as we all know chokes the atmosphere with carbon dioxide increasing the greenhouse effect.”
I asked how about his forecast for climate change once Neil Young has passed away. “It may have no effect considering the quality of the younger generations of Canadian music artists. In fact I only see climate change as only increasing at a faster rate”.
While Confucius has not been able to establish causality due to a lack of funding during the Trump administration, he hopes once a Democrat administration returns he can receive adequate funding for further research. “People used to listen to the radio rather than watch television, but with the crappie music being put out on the market they have watched television more and more, requiring an increasing amount of energy derived from dead dinosaurs, which as we all know chokes the atmosphere with carbon dioxide increasing the greenhouse effect.”
I asked how about his forecast for climate change once Neil Young has passed away. “It may have no effect considering the quality of the younger generations of Canadian music artists. In fact I only see climate change as only increasing at a faster rate”.
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