My analogy is the person in the office who gets married and is joyful about it. Referring to them as married and not single is our participation in their enhanced identity. We are celebrating who they are now. Yes, of course we may slip up a few times out of habit but as soon as it is pointed out we wince and are embarrassed and make that change in our minds even more assiduously. It's part of the recognition of her as a flesh and blood person, not as our matrix of data points.
That's why my thought is, if this is repeat behavior over time, a deliberate Kim Davis wackadoodle bloviation of Invisible Man Hatred.