Bottom Feeders 2018-19: Just So You Know, They Really Suck

[MissThundercat]

Your commissioner and her assistants have come out of their junk food coma and are ready to declare who really sucks in 2018-19, ending in the Futile Four "Championship" in some crap hole town here in America.

Changes this year:

1. Monthy Rankings will be called the MARS Bars.

2. Flavor Town himself, Guy Fieri, will be providing food for our Futile Four participants.

3. The Bottom Feeders of Hockey East, WCHA, and any Independents will be vaulted to the top of the rankings at year's end, as they have no playoffs. Why should RPI have a chance to shoot above UAA?

4. As always, you are more than welcome to chime in with location suggestions, although the final decision sits with my dear Timcat, a delightful orange tabby.

[MissThundercat]

MARS Bars Top 5:

1. RPI
2. UAA
3. UNH
4. AIC
5. Miami

6-16 will be up sometime tomorrow.

[Eddie Schorr]

MARS Bars Top 5:

1. RPI
2. UAA
3. UNH
4. AIC
5. Miami

6-16 will be up sometime tomorrow.

Really sad how far College Hockey's Newest Dynasty has fallen. Tears in my eyes.

[MissThundercat]

6-16:

6. Arizona State
7. Lake State
8. Bentley
9. Merrimack
10. RIT
11. CC
12. Vermont
13. Wisconsin
14. Sparty
15. Western Michigan
16. UConn

[Ralph Baer]

RPI is expected to be the lone ECAC team.

[MissThundercat]

RPI is expected to be the lone ECAC team.

It's a buffet of suck, Ralph. I could only pick 16, though there are some ECAC teams in the 17-20 "bubble."

[Snively65]

It's a buffet of suck, Ralph. I could only pick 16, though there are some ECAC teams in the 17-20 "bubble."

Be that as it may, based on the top 16, ECAC is the strongest conference, matched by the Indep, followed by BiG10 and WCHA, then AHC and NACHO, with HEA at the bottom. :-)

[MissThundercat]

17-20:

Brown
Dartmouth
SLU
Sacred Heart

Next month, you'll get an updated pre-season MARS bars.

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

17-20:

Brown
Dartmouth
SLU
Sacred Heart

Next month, you'll get an updated pre-season MARS bars.

UAH not in the bottom 20? Gfmorris is going to be thrilled with this news.

[MissThundercat]

UAH not in the bottom 20? Gfmorris is going to be thrilled with this news.

Last season, UAH finished 7th in conference, and gave Northern fits in the playoffs. Right now, Lake State and UAA are far worse than Huntsville.

[huskyfan]

at this early in the season, I am less worried about who gets in - time will tell - but in where the venues should be. and some rules laid down of what qualifies as a venue. personally I feel some of the venues should be outside. without seats. and on real ice, like one of the Great Lakes or Hudson Bay? and food? why? and for who? players, fans, coaches, refs? and who can qualify as a ref for these so called games? Now that I cleverly thought it up, I like the idea of a game on Hudson Bay, where polar bears roam. Ref could carry rifles. They'd need a whole new set of hand signals that none of the players would know. Was that a whistle or a bullet whizzing by? It would cut down on spectators too. Maybe that's not such a good idea. Army would win hands down.

[MissThundercat]

A couple years ago, we had it on a pond in Alaska.

[mmf]

As we all anxiously await the formation of a Space Force Academy hockey program (I believe the NHL has already funded a study), I hope UAF is allowed to help co-host their first outdoor lunar game. What’s more new and exciting than an outdoor game? Our experience could be invaluable to the fledgling, and most assuredly, bottom feeder program:

- No appreciable difference in outside temp (and it’s still a dry cold).
- No appreciable difference in probable ticket sales vs our own hosted tournaments.
- We often play at the Sullivan, so we know how to handle the deafening silence.
- We are used to very long days and nights.
- We are used to hosting games in a cold barren wasteland.
- We are used to hearing teams whining about their travel difficulties and costs.
- We are used to being far away from the nearest Olive Garden.
- And if the Nanook Bear is allowed into space, what could possibly go wrong?

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

A couple years ago, we had it on a pond in Alaska.

Clearly, the old rule against outdoor venues that was instituted by the previous commissioner, has been lifted by our new Fearless Leader.

As for food, IIRC, Guy agreed to do it for a complimentary case of cheap beer. I propose we just get him a case of Baltika #9 in the big plastic bottles, and relabel it "Broski #9". That way, the committee can support a Russian product, as is currently popular with our ruling class, as well as satisfy Guy's lust for all things 'bro'. It's win-win.

[MissThundercat]

Clearly, the old rule against outdoor venues that was instituted by the previous commissioner, has been lifted by our new Fearless Leader.

As for food, IIRC, Guy agreed to do it for a complimentary case of cheap beer. I propose we just get him a case of Baltika #9 in the big plastic bottles, and relabel it "Broski #9". That way, the committee can support a Russian product, as is currently popular with our ruling class, as well as satisfy Guy's lust for all things 'bro'. It's win-win.

Thank you, Assistant Fade.

I don't have to ask about the Midwest again this year, as we are going to Laurium.

[MissThundercat]

Outdoor venues are welcome, as long as they bring The Suck.

[joecct]

Outdoor venues are welcome, as long as they bring The Suck.

Would that be a frozen quicksand bog?

[MissThundercat]

Would that be a frozen quicksand bog?

Ooooh, kinky.

[MissThundercat]

As we all anxiously await the formation of a Space Force Academy hockey program (I believe the NHL has already funded a study), I hope UAF is allowed to help co-host their first outdoor lunar game. What’s more new and exciting than an outdoor game? Our experience could be invaluable to the fledgling, and most assuredly, bottom feeder program:

- No appreciable difference in outside temp (and it’s still a dry cold).
- No appreciable difference in probable ticket sales vs our own hosted tournaments.
- We often play at the Sullivan, so we know how to handle the deafening silence.
- We are used to very long days and nights.
- We are used to hosting games in a cold barren wasteland.
- We are used to hearing teams whining about their travel difficulties and costs.
- We are used to being far away from the nearest Olive Garden.
- And if the Nanook Bear is allowed into space, what could possibly go wrong?

The problem is getting there. None of us can afford the travel. So, regrettably, I must decline your offer at this time. Bus access only.

[MissThundercat]

If anyone can remember what outdoor pond we had it on in Alaska for 16-17, tell me. Leaning towards that for a West bid.