A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Close. one to hold the bulb, the other five to drink until the room spins.

Also works for any given state's biggest party school.

[wolverineTrumpet]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Close. one to hold the bulb, the other five to drink until the room spins.

In band geek jokes, the above is the joke about tuba players.


How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She holds it up and the world revolves around her.

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

In band geek jokes, the above is the joke about tuba players.


How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She holds it up and the world revolves around her.

Alternatively, five. One to screw it in, and four more to tell the first one how much better they would've done it.

What's the difference between a dead squirrel in the road, and a dead trombone player in the road?
The squirrel will have skid marks in front of it

[The Sicatoka]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

What's the difference between a dead squirrel in the road, and a dead trombone player in the road?
The squirrel will have skid marks in front of it

Change "squirrel" to "skunk" and "trombone player" to "lawyer" and you have a really old joke there.

[Kepler]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Change "squirrel" to "skunk" and "trombone player" to "lawyer" and you have a really old joke there.

All these jokes are "Mad Libs" jokes. Another classic is the two guys at the urinals. One zips up and heads directly for the door. The second says, "At x they taught us to wash after using these facilities." To which the first responds, "At y they taught us not to pis-s on our hands."

I have heard the x,y for that joke as: (Harvard, Yale), (Yale, Harvard), (Harvard, Cornell), (Cornell, Colgate), (every Midwestern "U", that same Midwestern "State U"), and on and on.

I've heard every lightbulb joke in permutation except for one.

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[The Sicatoka]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

I have heard the x,y for that joke as:

Squid (sailor) and a Jarhead (marine).

[The Sicatoka]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Google.

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Sorry, I missed the part of the thread title where it said the jokes had to be original.

[Kepler]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Google.

None of those are the answer.

Anyone?

[FreshFish]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

All How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, feminists are so bright they don't need no friggin' lightbulbs.

[Kepler]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

None, feminists are so bright they don't need no friggin' lightbulbs.

No, that's the answer for Austrian Economists.

Q. "How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

A. "That's not funny."

[goldy_331]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

A Panda walks into a bar....


Sits down and orders a burger and fries. Finishes his lunch, stands up and pulls out a gun then shoots everyone except the bartender who dives behind the bar. While frantically dialing 911 the bartender yells "what the hell was that all about.". As he's walking out the Panda says "Google me."

While the cops are on the way the bartender does Google Panda and sees:
"Black and white mammal, indigenous to China, eats shoots and leaves."

[Jimjamesak]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

I don't know why I find this funny but I do...

[MissThundercat]

A man is visited by a fairy.

"I will grant you one wish," says the fairy.

The man says "okay. I want to live forever!"

The fairy says "you know I can't do that."

The man thinks about it, and says "okay.. I want to die after the Lions win the Super Bowl!"

"You crafty bastard."

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Nice.

Living forever is a terrible wish though, as has been explored in several fantasy works. All your mortal friends and family eventually die, and you're alone in the world.

I've heard a similar joke.

Two guys from Michigan die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we're from Michigan, the land of ice and snow and cold. We're just happy for a chance to warm up a bit, you know."

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens and hats. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"

Again, the guys reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Michigan, the land of ice and snow and cold. We're just happy to warm up a little bit, you know."

The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Michigan and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Michiganders reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get too much warm weather up there in Michigan, we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this nice."

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally, he comes up with an answer. These two love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. He decides to turn all the heat in hell off.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, the people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the 2 Michiganders. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering. The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?"

The Michiganders look at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't ya know - if hell froze over, that must mean. The Lions won the Super Bowl!"