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A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

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  • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    I'd say some of the best posts on USCHO come from Bob in this thread.


    One of my favorites:
    Originally posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
    My parents in 1999: Don't trust anyone on the Internet.

    My dad in 2016: Freedom Eagle dot Facebook says that Hillary invented AIDS.
    Code:
    As of 9/21/10:         As of 9/13/10:
    College Hockey 6       College Football 0
    BTHC 4                 WCHA FC:  1
    Originally posted by SanTropez
    May your paint thinner run dry and the fleas of a thousand camels infest your dead deer.
    Originally posted by bigblue_dl
    I don't even know how to classify magic vagina smoke babies..
    Originally posted by Kepler
    When the giraffes start building radio telescopes they can join too.
    He's probably going to be a superstar but that man has more baggage than North West

    Comment


    • Originally posted by dxmnkd316 View Post
      I'd say some of the best posts on USCHO come from Bob in this thread.


      One of my favorites:
      Thank you. One weird side effect of severe depression is a unique sense of humor. Also, working retail for so long gave me plenty of time for observation.
      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
      Patreon for exclusive writing content
      Adventures With Amber Marie

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      • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

        From Facebook, a Yooper joke:

        A YOOPER LENTEN JOKE
        Yoopers love to joke about themselves. They love Eino and Toivo jokes. This one was told to da Yooper Pastor by a Yooper Catholic. All in good fun, eh!

        Every Friday night after work, Toivo came over to Eino's for supper. They would fire up his outdoor grill outside of Hancock and cook some venison steaks. But many of Eino's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden to eat meat on Friday.

        The delicious aroma of the steaks wafted over Hancock all the way to Houghton. It caused such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

        The Priest visited Toivo and Eino, and suggested that they become Catholic. After several classes and much study, the two attended Mass. As the priest sprinkled holy water over them, he said, "You were born Lutheran, and raised Lutheran, but now you are Catholic."

        Toivo and Eino's neighbors were relieved, until Friday night arrived. Once again the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled all of Hancock.

        The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors. As he rushed into Eino's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold his two new converts, he stopped in his tracks and watched in amazement.

        There stood Toivo with a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the platter of grilled meat held by Eino. Toivo chanted: "You vuz born a deer, an' you vuz raised a deer, but now you is a walleye, eh!"
        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
        Patreon for exclusive writing content
        Adventures With Amber Marie

        Comment


        • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

          Big thumbs up if the inside of your car is empirical proof you're not a litter bug!
          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
          Patreon for exclusive writing content
          Adventures With Amber Marie

          Comment


          • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

            Me: Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I keep singing Barenaked Ladies.
            Priest: How long since your last confession?
            Me: It's been...
            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
            Patreon for exclusive writing content
            Adventures With Amber Marie

            Comment


            • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

              Feel shame for that one
              Code:
              As of 9/21/10:         As of 9/13/10:
              College Hockey 6       College Football 0
              BTHC 4                 WCHA FC:  1
              Originally posted by SanTropez
              May your paint thinner run dry and the fleas of a thousand camels infest your dead deer.
              Originally posted by bigblue_dl
              I don't even know how to classify magic vagina smoke babies..
              Originally posted by Kepler
              When the giraffes start building radio telescopes they can join too.
              He's probably going to be a superstar but that man has more baggage than North West

              Comment


              • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                Originally posted by dxmnkd316 View Post
                Feel shame for that one
                Gotta try em out somewhere.
                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                Patreon for exclusive writing content
                Adventures With Amber Marie

                Comment


                • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                  That White House intern brings another dress to the dry cleaner.
                  The dry cleaner looks at it and says, "No problem. We can handle that. It'll be ready Thursday. Come again."

                  "No. It's toothpaste."
                  The preceding post may contain trigger words and is not safe-space approved. <-- Virtue signaling.

                  North Dakota Hockey:

                  Comment


                  • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                    Two stages of my life:

                    1. I should eat.

                    2. I shouldn't have eaten that much.
                    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                    Patreon for exclusive writing content
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                    • Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
                      Two stages of my life:

                      1. I should eat.

                      2. I shouldn't have eaten that much.
                      #mepoo
                      (with apologies to jericho)
                      CCT '77 & '78
                      4 kids
                      5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
                      1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

                      ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
                      - Benjamin Franklin

                      Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

                      I want to live forever. So far, so good.

                      Comment


                      • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                        A guy tells his wife, "I bet you can't p*ss me off and make me happy at the same time".

                        Wife, "Your dick is bigger than your brothers".
                        A bad cause requires many words.

                        Comment


                        • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                          Originally posted by SonofSouthie View Post
                          A guy tells his wife, "I bet you can't p*ss me off and make me happy at the same time".

                          Wife, "Your dick is bigger than your brothers".
                          "Father's" would have been a lot funnier.
                          Cornell University
                          National Champion 1967, 1970
                          ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                          Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

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                          • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                            Me: I have the sex appeal of a math book.
                            My friend: I don't know of anyone who opened a math book and didn't say "f-ck me."
                            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                            Patreon for exclusive writing content
                            Adventures With Amber Marie

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                            • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                              "Oh, we're $16 now."- salads
                              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                              Patreon for exclusive writing content
                              Adventures With Amber Marie

                              Comment


                              • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                                Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
                                "Oh, we're $16 now."- salads
                                Seriously, it really has gotten ridiculous. I recently drew the line at $9 for a house salad, and ordered the steamed clams appetizer instead.

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