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Thread: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

  1. #621
    occupe toi de tes oignons owslachief's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Quote Originally Posted by Twitch Boy View Post
    So a funeral home near me introduced a transparent coffin. Will it catch on?

    Remains to be seen.
    Best way to see Beethoven de-composing

  2. #622
    occupe toi de tes oignons owslachief's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Q: Where does a mansplainer get his water?

    A: The "Well, *actually*"

  3. #623
    wubba lubba dub dub
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Quote Originally Posted by owslachief View Post
    Q: Where does a mansplainer get his water?

    A: The "Well, *actually*"
    I have a 5yo niece who starts every answer like that, even when nobody asked a question. It's the funniest thing.
    "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

    "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

    "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

  4. #624
    If Only You Knew MissThundercat's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Went to an emotional wedding last weekend. Even the cake was in tiers.
    twitter: PipersHouse920, instagram: bobambermarie
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    Adventures With Amber Marie

  5. #625

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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    “Guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a Cosmopolitan.”

    The bartender goes, “You’re not from ‘round here are ya?”

    “No, I’m from New Hampshire,” replied the customer.

    “Well, what do you do in New Hampshire?”

    “I’m a taxidermist.”

    “Huh?”

    “I mount dead animals.”

    “It’s OK, boys! He’s one of us.”

  6. #626
    occupe toi de tes oignons owslachief's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Possible thumb-sucker story headline:

    "High-pitched whale not afraid of high seas"

  7. #627
    occupe toi de tes oignons owslachief's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Please, allow me the chance to redeem myself.

    Q: Why do cows have cloven hooves?

    A: They lactose

  8. #628
    If Only You Knew MissThundercat's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Don't feel bad.

    For the record, a person born in 33 is was 45 in a 78.
    twitter: PipersHouse920, instagram: bobambermarie
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    Adventures With Amber Marie

  9. #629
    occupe toi de tes oignons owslachief's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Not a huge fan of cottage cheese; just a curd to me.

  10. #630
    If Only You Knew MissThundercat's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    My partner wanted me to have sex on the hood of their Honda Civic. I refused, saying if I'm going to have sex, I'm going to do it on my own Accord.
    twitter: PipersHouse920, instagram: bobambermarie
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    Adventures With Amber Marie

  11. #631
    If Only You Knew MissThundercat's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    I asked a friend "what's the best part about living in Switzerland?"

    He responded "I don't know, but the flag is a big plus!"
    twitter: PipersHouse920, instagram: bobambermarie
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    Adventures With Amber Marie

  12. #632
    mascot extraordinaire
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Why did Jesus get banned from the Craps table?

    He always brought his own paradise

  13. #633
    occupe toi de tes oignons owslachief's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Quote Originally Posted by jericho View Post
    Why did Jesus get banned from the Craps table?

    He always brought his own paradise
    What about Jesus really PO'd Popeye?

  14. #634
    occupe toi de tes oignons owslachief's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Quote Originally Posted by owslachief View Post
    What about Jesus really PO'd Popeye?
    The time He went to Mt. Olive

  15. #635
    Kicizapi Cetan
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Quote Originally Posted by MissThundercat View Post
    ... on my own Accord.
    Acts 1:14 ... Jesus' ride share with mom and the siblings.
    The preceding post may contain trigger words and is not safe-space approved.

    North Dakota Hockey:

  16. #636
    If Only You Knew MissThundercat's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    One tectonic plate bumped into the other and said "sorry, my fault."
    twitter: PipersHouse920, instagram: bobambermarie
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    Adventures With Amber Marie

  17. #637
    If Only You Knew MissThundercat's Avatar
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Some people think my puns are juvenile. I think of them as full groan.
    twitter: PipersHouse920, instagram: bobambermarie
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    Adventures With Amber Marie

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