The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

[MissThundercat]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

Are they quite old? If they are say in their 80s this doesn't surprise me. When my Dad passed away at 86 we were on stand-by with my Mom for the first few months, but we should have known she'll bury us all. She's 91 now and is the unsinkable Molly Brown.

I was unsure as to his mother's age, but he did say his dad was in and out of the hospital, then transferred to Hospice just before the end. But still... losing both parents is hard enough, but during the holiday season? Anything I tell him will come out as "other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the show?"

[leswp1]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

saying prayers

[MissThundercat]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

GREAT News to share, at least for me: after looking for more than 10 years to find a full time job, and only being able to find part time retail work... today I was hired in as a production assistant at Tyson Foods in Zeeland. Yes, it's meat packing. No, it's not glamorous by any means. But at least as of today, I now have a full time job, and the pay for me is like hitting the lottery. I, in essence, received a $3/hour pay bump and at least 20 more hours each work week.

Now... I can start looking for my own place.
Now... I can start paying off my debts.
Now... I can start putting money away for my own car.
Now... I can start the process of leaving my dad behind and becoming my own person.

[leswp1]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

w00t! COngrats Shirtless!

[Kepler]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

Awesome, man! You rock!

[ericredaxe]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

Great News! Congrats Bob!

[Spartanforlife4]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

Great news! Holland area is nice too if you're looking to move closer from where you are now.

[MissThundercat]

Great news! Holland area is nice too if you're looking to move closer from where you are now.

That's the goal. Because right now, it will take me about 40 minutes to get to work.

[MissThundercat]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

But, not all good news. As I've mentioned before, my dad fell behind on the property taxes, and was not able to pay for another year to keep us in our current home. The city foreclosed on him, and last week, he was sent a letter informing him that he (and all other occupants) had until March 8 to get out. If we're not out by March 8, they will start the eviction process.

So, now with this new job, I am basically scrambling to find my dad and I another place to live in a very short amount of time. At least, with this new job, I will have the cash to take over the house and be a homeowner.

So, any encouragement you can offer would be appreciated.

[leswp1]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

But, not all good news. As I've mentioned before, my dad fell behind on the property taxes, and was not able to pay for another year to keep us in our current home. The city foreclosed on him, and last week, he was sent a letter informing him that he (and all other occupants) had until March 8 to get out. If we're not out by March 8, they will start the eviction process.

So, now with this new job, I am basically scrambling to find my dad and I another place to live in a very short amount of time. At least, with this new job, I will have the cash to take over the house and be a homeowner.

So, any encouragement you can offer would be appreciated.

Stop scrambling for your dad and just look for yourself. You can love him all you want but trying to rescue him will drown you both. Do you still have your support people that were working with you before? If so I would recommend calling them and asking them to help you with a plan. That is what they are there for.

Eviction takes time. See if you can find someone who knows how long that would be. Most of the time eviction does not occur for some time.

Is there someone you can room with or sublet from? What ever you do I hope you sincerely consider not doing it with your dad. Anything you do will be under your name and if he decides to be helpless or screw things up it will be you that has the consequence. If I recall he already rec'd $ from his church to help with the taxes. He seems to be playing professional victim. You need help to not be a professional rescuer. (end of unsolicited advice)

[MissThundercat]

Stop scrambling for your dad and just look for yourself. You can love him all you want but trying to rescue him will drown you both. Do you still have your support people that were working with you before? If so I would recommend calling them and asking them to help you with a plan. That is what they are there for.

Eviction takes time. See if you can find someone who knows how long that would be. Most of the time eviction does not occur for some time.

Is there someone you can room with or sublet from? What ever you do I hope you sincerely consider not doing it with your dad. Anything you do will be under your name and if he decides to be helpless or screw things up it will be you that has the consequence. If I recall he already rec'd $ from his church to help with the taxes. He seems to be playing professional victim. You need help to not be a professional rescuer. (end of unsolicited advice)

Honestly, every solution I've come across is unpalatable and is asking me how do I want to die.

[SJHovey]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

Eviction takes time. See if you can find someone who knows how long that would be. Most of the time eviction does not occur for some time.

I wouldn't count on this.

Most states publish some sort of landlord/tenant rights pamphlet. Usually its the attorney general's office, or maybe the courts system. It'll give the basic steps and timeline.

However, if the notice to vacate has been given (sounds like it was, with a March 8 deadline), then usually what happens is a court proceeding if the person has not vacated. These court proceedings, in some states, happen quite quickly, usually within a couple of weeks. So if Bob isn't out by the 8th of March, he will probably receive a pleading that has been filed with the court notifying him of a court date, and that court date will be within a week or two, possibly. I wouldn't count on much more time than that. He should do a google search for tenants rights info for his state.

[leswp1]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

Honestly, every solution I've come across is unpalatable and is asking me how do I want to die.

This doesn't make me comfortable. I hope you are talking to your support team!

I wouldn't count on this.

Most states publish some sort of landlord/tenant rights pamphlet. Usually its the attorney general's office, or maybe the courts system. It'll give the basic steps and timeline.

However, if the notice to vacate has been given (sounds like it was, with a March 8 deadline), then usually what happens is a court proceeding if the person has not vacated. These court proceedings, in some states, happen quite quickly, usually within a couple of weeks. So if Bob isn't out by the 8th of March, he will probably receive a pleading that has been filed with the court notifying him of a court date, and that court date will be within a week or two, possibly. I wouldn't count on much more time than that. He should do a google search for tenants rights info for his state.

I was unsure. I know that most places it doesn't happen on the exact date but wasn't sure how long it took. Here it is erratic.

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

Ran a quick search. It seems because Bob's dad owned the house, the city will likely be required to go through the formal eviction process, rather than the shorter one that landlords can use on renters. That means if they start the proceedings on the 8th, including the court date(s), Bob may have 4-6 weeks...but I still wouldn't count on it.

I'd also inform your dad he's on his own from here on out, with all the BS you've dealt with from him. You're both adults, and you've talked about getting away from him for years. This is your shot, and you should treat this incident as the last straw. If you don't do it now and just let him move in wherever you land, it will be that much harder to detach from him down the road. Don't grow a wishbone where a backbone ought to be.

[leswp1]

Re: The Good Thoughts and Prayers Needed Thread 2

Ran a quick search. It seems because Bob's dad owned the house, the city will likely be required to go through the formal eviction process, rather than the shorter one that landlords can use on renters. That means if they start the proceedings on the 8th, including the court date(s), Bob may have 4-6 weeks...but I still wouldn't count on it.

I'd also inform your dad he's on his own from here on out, with all the BS you've dealt with from him. You're both adults, and you've talked about getting away from him for years. This is your shot, and you should treat this incident as the last straw. If you don't do it now and just let him move in wherever you land, it will be that much harder to detach from him down the road. Don't grow a wishbone where a backbone ought to be.

good advice