Can we also fire the anthem singer?I've sat back and taken in all that there is to take in with this thread. I've had some time to process Sunday's monumental collapse, and I believe I've come up with an eminently reasonable solution to this team's problems that everyone here should find acceptable.
Fire the coach.
Fire his assistants.
Fire the AD.
Fire the assistant AD.
Explain to me what exactly it is the director of hockey operations does, and then fire him.
Fire anyone who helps with recruiting and replace them with FlagDUDE08. He will use a USHR subscription and the internet, and he will do a better job.
Fire the equipment manager.
Fire the trainers.
Fire the PA announcer.
Fire the guy who designed the jerseys.
Fire the entire marketing department.
Revoke the scholarship from every single player on the team. I don't care what happens in return.
Fire the guy at Houston Field House who makes the hot dogs. Every time I eat one, I taste three decades of failure. Way to go, *******s: you've somehow managed to ruin hot dogs.
Travel back in time and fire Liver Houston, who thought it was a good idea to bring hockey back to RPI.
**** every fan of any other team that claims to "hate" the Engineers. You haven't earned the right to say that.
Make it so I don't feel like calling social services whenever I see a kid wearing an RPI jersey.
Stop celebrating the 1964 team. Breaking news: they lost. Looking forward to the 2061 pregame ceremony where we applaud the 2011 team and pretend we don't know how it ended.
But hey, speaking of 2061, it's entirely possible that we'll have won a national championship by then. Here is a brief list of things that are more possible:
• Complete nuclear annihilation
• Massive earthquake destroys Troy
• Massive earthquake destroys the Frozen Four city with the Engineers leading by 3 with 30 seconds left in the national championship game
• Siena starts a varsity team, wins the national championship in first year of existence
• Siena basketball team makes the Frozen Four
I wouldn't wish the Engineers on my worst enemy. If Adolf Hitler was contemplating becoming a hockey fan, and was enamored by the disciplinary stylings of Seth Appert, I'd beg him to reconsider. Hitler, you have a reputation to uphold.
God **** it.
**** this team.