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Thread: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

  1. #1
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    Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    The 2013 "Bottom-Feeders Bracket" is accepting bids from venues willing to host 4 regionals, and the national anti-championship event, known as the "FutileFour".

    Regionals will be held the weekend of March 29-31, and Nationals the weekend of April 5-7.

    The site-selection committee wishes it to be known that the late date for the start of this process was intentional, rather than a result of simple negligence or procrastination. We hope that only the worst facilities will still be available.

    Site selection will be based on the following criteria:
    1. We seek the poorest quality facilities, and are especially fond of venues without ample locker-room space or silly amenities for the fans...like seats, heat, rest rooms, or edible concessions.
    2. The committee considers it desirable for the venues to be in out-of-the-way locations, and prefers they lack easy access to basic creature comforts: hotels, restaurants and public transportation.
    3. While we realize that even the nastiest places on earth may have some redeeming, positive attribute (that might, otherwise make the area seem 'over-qualified' to host an event of this magnitude) we give special preference to prospective sites that no rational, sane human being would be likely to visit voluntarily.
    4. As the old saying goes; "A picture is worth a thousand words." The committee encourages you to include pictures of your rink, and links to web-sites.
    5. No rink that is currently the home of any NCAA D1 or D3 team will be considered (even though we can think of several that meet the above criteria; shout out to my friends at Ferris State
    6. While this might seem to contradict #1, the committee will only consider indoor facilities (OK, they can be open from the sides, but the ice must be under roof). We refuse to join the outdoor hockey frenzy!
    7. Please keep this in mind. While that 'other' national tournament is a reward for the players, coaches, fans and their respective schools; this tournament is intended as punishment for those programs that really suck!
    8. It would not be unreasonable to believe that the committee could be influenced by any sort of incentives, kickbacks or outright bribes.

    Bids will be accepted until 7:00AM EST on Sunday, March 3.

    The Team Selection process will be covered in a separate thread.
    Du hockey comme dans le temps!

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    I don't see anything limiting this to U.S. soil, so I'll nominate the only ice rink in Egypt. Looks like quite a dump, and it certainly isn't regulation size. No glass, an open window, scarred ice, a puddle of slush, poor lighting. Sounds like the perfect host for this tournament.

    https://theoryofice.blogspot.com/2011...airo-2009.html
    Places I've seen a college hockey game: Agganis Arena, Alfond Arena, Bright Center, Consol Energy Center, Conte Forum, DCU Center, Fenway Park, Gutterson Fieldhouse, Houston Field House, Lawler Arena, Madison Square Garden, Matthews Arena, Mullins Center, Schneider Arena, Scottrade Center, Sears Centre, Tampa Bay Times Forum, TD Bank Sports Center, TD Garden, Tsongas Center, Tully Forum, Verizon Center, Verizon Wireless Arena, Walter Brown Arena, Wells Fargo Center, Whittemore Center

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    Quote Originally Posted by Federal League View Post
    I don't see anything limiting this to U.S. soil, so I'll nominate the only ice rink in Egypt. Looks like quite a dump, and it certainly isn't regulation size. No glass, an open window, scarred ice, a puddle of slush, poor lighting. Sounds like the perfect host for this tournament.

    https://theoryofice.blogspot.com/2011...airo-2009.html
    While this place certainly looks as if it would be appropriate in many ways, I'm afraid we can NOT accept bids from facilities outside the USA, and we should require the ice to, at least to near regulation size...although we may be flexible.
    Du hockey comme dans le temps!

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    I nominate this rink in Lancaster, PA

    https://www.regencyicerink.com/

    They have three rows of wood, turned into seats on one END of the rink. No, not bleachers. I believe on the end where the photo was taken. But as I was only there once, I can't be sure.

    Here are the best "seats" in the house.
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/avocado8/8462926238/

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    Hooray! I look forward to this thread every year.

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    I'll nominate the Penobscot Ice Arena in Brewer, ME the biggest dump in the state and since Maine should be a shoe in for the Futile Four it would be fitting.

    https://bangordailynews.com/2012/02/0...local-coaches/

    https://bangordailynews.com/2013/01/3...d-improvement/

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process


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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    I would like to nominate an outdoor rink be built in Malcolm Portera's backyard.

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    Is there a requirement that the site have actual ice in place?

    The Uline Arena would bring NCAA hockey back to the nation's capital. I suppose some sort of temporary ice could be attempted.

    They'd have to fend off people looking for parking spots. They could revel in the thematic thrill of playing in a historic venue where the Beatles once played and Malcolm X once spoke.

    The downside is there's now a hotel and some fast restaurants in the area since the new Metro redline stop has brought gentrification to the area.

    But just look at the interior amenities to the building!

    *******https://dcist.com/attachments/Catherine%20Finn/2010_1212_ulinearena.jpg********

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    How about the place in Danbury... It's supposed to be a real hole

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    The selection process in the past has been full of conventional thinking and conventional locations. It's time to think outside the box. So I present to you ...

    Memorial Stadium, Wichita Falls Texas
    *******https://www.stadiumsusa.com/images/thumbs/0552a5cefce586c96219702cc75358695b7a246a.jpg-590x1000.png********

    Now before you get all freaked out ... my rationale is listed below in response to each of the requested criteria.


    Quote Originally Posted by Freddie View Post
    The 2013 "Bottom-Feeders Bracket" is accepting bids from venues willing to host 4 regionals, and the national anti-championship event, known as the "FutileFour".

    Regionals will be held the weekend of March 29-31, and Nationals the weekend of April 5-7.

    The site-selection committee wishes it to be known that the late date for the start of this process was intentional, rather than a result of simple negligence or procrastination. We hope that only the worst facilities will still be available.

    Site selection will be based on the following criteria:
    1. We seek the poorest quality facilities, and are especially fond of venues without ample locker-room space or silly amenities for the fans...like seats, heat, rest rooms, or edible concessions.e.
    2. The committee considers it desirable for the venues to be in out-of-the-way locations, and prefers they lack easy access to basic creature comforts: hotels, restaurants and public transportation.
    3. While we realize that even the nastiest places on earth may have some redeeming, positive attribute (that might, otherwise make the area seem 'over-qualified' to host an event of this magnitude) we give special preference to prospective sites that no rational, sane human being would be likely to visit voluntarily.
    4. As the old saying goes; "A picture is worth a thousand words." The committee encourages you to include pictures of your rink, and links to web-sites.
    5. No rink that is currently the home of any NCAA D1 or D3 team will be considered (even though we can think of several that meet the above criteria; shout out to my friends at Ferris State
    6. While this might seem to contradict #1, the committee will only consider indoor facilities (OK, they can be open from the sides, but the ice must be under roof). We refuse to join the outdoor hockey frenzy!
    7. Please keep this in mind. While that 'other' national tournament is a reward for the players, coaches, fans and their respective schools; this tournament is intended as punishment for those programs that really suck!
    8. It would not be unreasonable to believe that the committee could be influenced by any sort of incentives, kickbacks or outright bribes.

    Bids will be accepted until 7:00AM EST on Sunday, March 3.

    The Team Selection process will be covered in a separate thread.
    1. It's a high school football stadium that was built like 40+ years ago. The obvious best feature is the parking. Note that it's circular. So no matter which side you park on you have about the same distance to walk from your car. And you'll definitely have to rent a car ... cos it's Wichita Falls, Texas.
    2. It's Wichita Falls, Texas. Nuff said ... again.
    3. See #2.
    4. Football stadium games are all the rage.
    5. See #2.
    6. I didn't notice this criteria before I started so eff it. Not joining the frenzy for an outside game is ridiculous. Join the frenzy.
    7. See #2.
    8. As if ....

    I'm betting even with all those stunningly compelling reasons that "the committee" will reject this bid. So ... suggestion number two is the Brett Memorial Ice Arena in Wasilla, Alaska.
    *******https://www.matsugov.us/communitydevelopment/images/stories/Rec%20Services/Ice%20Arena/skate.jpg********
    As you can see it literally is a barn. While it's a mere 2 or 3 miles to the rink next to Sarah Palin's house this place is much more likely to meet the criteria. If you look closely at the picture you can see one of the locker rooms. There in the corner. That little box built in the corner. There are stands. The place is as cold as a hockey rink can be. So I guess the ice might be a little too good (which makes the Wichita Falls suggestion better). Yeah um nvm ... eff Wasilla. It's probably more of a craphole than Wichita Falls ... but it's less than 60 miles from the UAA campus. Wichita Falls it is!!!

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    Quote Originally Posted by Freddie View Post
    The 2013 "Bottom-Feeders Bracket" is accepting bids from venues willing to host 4 regionals, and the national anti-championship event, known as the "FutileFour".

    The site-selection committee wishes... We hope that only the worst facilities will still be available.

    Site selection will be based on the following criteria:
    1. We seek the poorest quality facilities and are especially fond of venues without ample locker-room space or silly amenities for the fans...like seats, heat, rest rooms, or edible concessions.
    2. The committee considers it desirable for the venues to be in out-of-the-way locations, and prefers they lack easy access to basic creature comforts: hotels, restaurants and public transportation.
    3. While we realize that even the nastiest places on earth may have some redeeming, positive attribute we give special preference to prospective sites that no rational, sane human being would be likely to visit voluntarily.
    4. As the old saying goes; "A picture is worth a thousand words." The committee encourages you to include pictures of your rink, and links to web-sites.
    5. No rink that is currently the home of any NCAA D1 or D3 team will be considered (even though we can think of several that meet the above criteria; shout out to my friends at...U
    A four star shout out to the Schenectady Salt Dome - Messa Rink at Achilles Center, Union College.
    Last edited by fr joe; 02-15-2013 at 12:26 AM.
    Here we come!

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    Quote Originally Posted by BUPhD View Post
    Is there a requirement that the site have actual ice in place?

    The Uline Arena would bring NCAA hockey back to the nation's capital. I suppose some sort of temporary ice could be attempted.

    They'd have to fend off people looking for parking spots. They could revel in the thematic thrill of playing in a historic venue where the Beatles once played and Malcolm X once spoke.

    The downside is there's now a hotel and some fast restaurants in the area since the new Metro redline stop has brought gentrification to the area.

    But just look at the interior amenities to the building!

    *******https://dcist.com/attachments/Catherine%20Finn/2010_1212_ulinearena.jpg********
    Shout out to Ralph Baer... isn't this the building with the ridged spar roof and adobe facade plainly visible from the Red Line just after the New York Avenue Metro stop? How did they miss this in DC's recent Frozen Four effort?
    Here we come!

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    Quote Originally Posted by fr joe View Post
    Shout out to Ralph Baer... isn't this the building with the ridged spar roof and adobe facade plainly visible from the Red Line just after the New York Avenue Metro stop? How did they miss this in DC's recent Frozen Four effort?
    Proximity to Union Station is a problem... but its proximity to New York Ave does increase the chance of gun violence... choices, choices, choices.

    edit: of course, Union Station is the home of a major train station. This would provide an advantage to the eastern schools, however, it would provide a major disadvantage to the western schools as it could take days to arrive
    Last edited by Patman; 02-15-2013 at 01:26 AM.
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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    Quote Originally Posted by Hockeypuck View Post
    I'll nominate the Penobscot Ice Arena in Brewer, ME the biggest dump in the state and since Maine should be a shoe in for the Futile Four it would be fitting.

    https://bangordailynews.com/2012/02/0...local-coaches/

    https://bangordailynews.com/2013/01/3...d-improvement/
    YOU STOLE MINE! They do have really good French fries though.

    I nominate Hebron Academy's rink in Hebron, ME. Middle of nowhere, very very cold.
    Places I've Seen a College Hockey Game: Agganis Arena, Alfond Arena, Compton Family Ice Arena, Conte Forum, Cross Insurance Arena (Cumberland County Civic Center), Dunkin' Donuts Center, Gutterson Fieldhouse, Fenway Park, Matthews Arena, Mullins Center, Pegula Ice Arena, Ralph Engelstad Arena, Schneider Arena, T.D. Garden, Tsongas Center, Thompson Arena, University of Southern Maine, Webster Bank Arena, Wells Fargo Center, Whittemore Center

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    I also nominate this one in Aguadilla, Puerto Rico: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aguadil..._Skating_Arena

    Does PR's nice weather disqualify it though??
    Places I've Seen a College Hockey Game: Agganis Arena, Alfond Arena, Compton Family Ice Arena, Conte Forum, Cross Insurance Arena (Cumberland County Civic Center), Dunkin' Donuts Center, Gutterson Fieldhouse, Fenway Park, Matthews Arena, Mullins Center, Pegula Ice Arena, Ralph Engelstad Arena, Schneider Arena, T.D. Garden, Tsongas Center, Thompson Arena, University of Southern Maine, Webster Bank Arena, Wells Fargo Center, Whittemore Center

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    I don't remember there being a Futile Four last year? Can we possibly get a list of say, the past 2 Futile Four locations, as we wouldn't want them to be familiar with any locations. Ya know, new places are scary

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=...9QEwBg&dur=468


    Adelard Arena in Woonsocket, RI. Home of the Mount St. Charles Mounties, winners of 27 consecutive state championships from 1977-2004.

    How is this place so terrible, you may ask? Well, the coach, Bill Belisle, has been there for as long as anyone's been alive, and REFUSES to adhere to fire codes and modernities. Thus, the rink has no heat, the locker rooms fit approximately half a youth team (but there are only two, so you have to cram everyone in anyway), the rink is lined with chicken wire fences, and the seats haven't been replaced ever.

    Also, it used to be an airplane hangar. So that's pretty cool.

    Now, a potential concern is its proximity to civilization. Not to worry! Woonsocket is such a horrible place that no one in their right mind would go there anyway, unless they wanted to get stabbed (not out of the question).

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    Here's a nice writeup of how ghetto the place is.

    https://theehl.blogspot.com/2010/04/m...remaining.html

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    Re: Bottom-Feeders Bracket: Road to "Futile Four" Site Selection Process

    I'll throw my support behind Penobscot Ice Arena in Brewer, ME, and Brett Memorial Ice Arena is Wasilla, AK. Those look like great hosts. Middle of nowhere too. Just make sure Maine doesn't get sent to Brewer and Anchorage doesn't get sent to Wasilla. That should take care of any attendance concerns.

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