DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

[Timothy A]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

Was there a safe place, person for them to put forth their accusation at the time it happened? No.

They can't go to the police? They couldn't go hire a lawyer?

[Timothy A]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

1. No.

2. Jesus Christ, dude. The f-ck is your problem?

3. Just no.

Once you get past my opening line (which I know is fantastic), how does what I wrote not make sense? Aren't we saying to our kids just to shut up and take it and get therapy 10 years later vs standing up for what is right and attacking what is wrong when it happens?

[dxmnkd316]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

Jesus. I hope he’s never my boss.
Two months into my career at a big 4, a partner tried to remove my undergarments over my clothes at a work dinner. I was 22 and scared and if not for a strong female manager I was lucky to have, I’m not sure I would have reported it. I ended up having to move clients and went thru a lot of crap all because I was treated like that.

That's absolutely horrible. I can't even imagine how terrifying that was being a young woman just starting a career and having a partner assault you. I hope he got what was coming to him. Sounds like you've done quite well since then and haven't let it hold you back.

[dxmnkd316]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

Once you get past my opening line (which I know is fantastic), how does what I wrote not make sense? Aren't we saying to our kids just to shut up and take it and get therapy 10 years later vs standing up for what is right and attacking what is wrong when it happens?

Do you understand what happens when a woman reports these kinds of incidents? Especially when the person is in a position of extreme power over them? You need not look beyond the Weinstein case to know that these men have money and power and will use it to crush accusers. Regardless of the truth. The power goes to their head and they do it more often.

[Kepler]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

Once you get past my opening line (which I know is fantastic), how does what I wrote not make sense? Aren't we saying to our kids just to shut up and take it and get therapy 10 years later vs standing up for what is right and attacking what is wrong when it happens?

You're either ignorant or a loathsome f-ckstick, so let's start with the former assumption until you prove otherwise.

Victims are typically younger, physically weaker, less valued in their company and/or community, a member of a biased-against gender, the authorities are incentified to ignore or diminish the claim against someone powerful who can make their lives miserable and in any case authorities typically come from the same f-cked up reactionary and/or hyper-religious mindset that treats women like male accessories.

And you want to put the onus on the victim?

I want you to go out and talk to women and hear their stories and get educated. And then you may well still hold to the same line of thinking. And that will make you a loathsome f-ckstick. But for now you may simply be ignorant. Talk to women. Crawl out of your own as-s.

[Deutsche Gopher Fan]

That's absolutely horrible. I can't even imagine how terrifying that was being a young woman just starting a career and having a partner assault you. I hope he got what was coming to him. Sounds like you've done quite well since then and haven't let it hold you back.

My company did everything by the book, and fast, once it was reported and multiple witnesses confirmed .
But it was terrifying as I was so young. Now years later id only have to control my rage before reporting immediately.

[dxmnkd316]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

I want you to go out and talk to women and hear their stories and get educated. And then you may well still hold to the same line of thinking. And that will make you a loathsome f-ckstick. But for now you may simply be ignorant. Talk to women. Crawl out of your own as-s.

I imagine you don't need to go too far to find someone a woman in your life who has been subjected to this. I know a number of women I know personally who have been subjected to this at work including my own mother.

[Deutsche Gopher Fan]

Do you understand what happens when a woman reports these kinds of incidents? Especially when the person is in a position of extreme power over them? You need not look beyond the Weinstein case to know that these men have money and power and will use it to crush accusers. Regardless of the truth. The power goes to their head and they do it more often.

I’m one of the lucky ones that I reported and my company supported me.
But other women are threatened to be blackballed from their industry. Or accused of dressing the wrong way, or yelled at about why they reported it when they did.
Hard for women to win and guys like Tim here are a big part of the problem.

[Kepler]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

My company did everything by the book, and fast, once it was reported and multiple witnesses confirmed .
But it was terrifying as I was so young. Now years later id only have to control my rage before reporting immediately.

One good thing that has changed is companies that are not run by complete scumbuckets are now afraid to intimidate or ignore victims. When a woman at a Fortune 500 company is harassed or assaulted the company is OK as long as it runs the case through a transparent HR review with institutional controls. If it just does the "hurr, hurr, women are hysterical" 1970 Era Act then it can be fined for violations by EOC not to mention sued by the victim. Those things have changed for the better.

Of course, small companies run by Real 'Murican f-cktards will humiliate, threaten, and/or fire the victim and then join ranks and just lie about her if there's a third party investigation. And since they typically either run a town (like Hollywood) or are a product of a misogynistic culture (like a red state) they can depend on authorities to back them up.

Worst comes to worst, they can always kill the b-tch.

[Kepler]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

I imagine you don't need to go too far to find someone a woman in your life who has been subjected to this. I know a number of women I know personally who have been subjected to this at work including my own mother.

When you start talking to women about it it's amazing. When I asked Dr. Mrs. why she never told me about what it was like she said "I just assumed everyone knew."

Well, I didn't know. But I know now, and my advice to anyone like Timothy is if you're ignorant get educated before you make an as-s of yourself with your lame "well, actually" --ism.

[dxmnkd316]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

I’m one of the lucky ones that I reported and my company supported me.
But other women are threatened to be blackballed from their industry. Or accused of dressing the wrong way, or yelled at about why they reported it when they did.
Hard for women to win and guys like Tim here are a big part of the problem.

The women can't win. Like you said, if they come forward they are subjected to further harassment by the accused, likely have their personal life laid bare for everyone to see, and are often slandered. If they don't come forward, you have people like Tim who ask "Why didn't they come forward"

It's a horrible choice.

[The Sicatoka]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

I've witnessed one disgusting "handy*" event in my life. I watched at a social event where my cousin (who worked for the same organization) was groped by a manager.

I walked over, looked at the guy, smiled, and said, "That's my cousin. By the look on her face she didn't appreciate that. You'd be wise to apologize and report yourself."

I got the, "Do you know who I am" response and stare.

I said, "Yup. With that attitude, you're the body."

"What do you mean 'the body'."

Me (pointing): "That moving mountain of a man coming this way is her husband and he also saw what you did. I'd say you should take my approach or else you're going to be the body."


* handy, as in groping, not that Handy.

[joecct]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

The ever eloquent (and somewhat clueless) Prof. Higgins had something to say on the matter:

https://youtu.be/iQGH9zereFc

https://youtu.be/Doz5w2W-jAY

[Handyman]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

They can't go to the police? They couldn't go hire a lawyer?

Works real well on college campuses doesnt it.

Stop thinking like a male, think like someone who doesnt have the power in any way.

[Timothy A]

Re: DC Sexual Assault Thread: We needed one...

I’m one of the lucky ones that I reported and my company supported me.
But other women are threatened to be blackballed from their industry. Or accused of dressing the wrong way, or yelled at about why they reported it when they did.
Hard for women to win and guys like Tim here are a big part of the problem.

I'm the problem? Re-read my first post. I wrote go report it right away and put a stop to it. That is what you did, you and I are on the same page. If everyone reports it right away, it stops. More women need to be like you. I commend you. It's a culture change and it's going to be hard, but it has to happen.