UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

[Felger]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

Who knows, indeed, especially with Buck already gone. And, four black bears, Fish and Game, and the ghosts of Shawn and Grant will be tough to follow on the fourth hole.

Perhaps Buck will play the last 15 holes via Skype

[Chuck Murray]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

Who knows, indeed, especially with Buck already gone. And, four black bears, Fish and Game, and the ghosts of Shawn and Grant will be tough to follow on the fourth hole.

Just to be clear
Grant is not dead
Shawn was a ghost
Grant was not a ghost
Grant is alive and Grant was bored
WIS does not wish Grant dead
WIS hopes UNH finds its own Grant
WIS does wish Shawn was NOT dead
It was more fun here when Shawn was just a cheat and a jerk

We know how the story progresses, with Dick on the back 9 and having shot a 76 on the final 4 holes, still barking at Souza and gripping the 3 iron for Souza while he tries to hit, while "teaching" Mike how to play golf. And after triple bogey on 18, going to the club manager to get an additional 3 holes added to the match.

Maybe Dick will hit a hole in one through the wind mill on 18?
Dick sure seems to know how to keep his job
Even when Dick's team does not play well
Even when lots of seats do not get sold
Things that make you go hmmmmm ...

Fourth hole will come soon
It will be time to spot Spot

[Snively65]

Just to be clear
Grant is not dead
Shawn was a ghost
Grant was not a ghost
Grant is alive and Grant was bored
WIS does not wish Grant dead
WIS hopes UNH finds its own Grant
WIS does wish Shawn was NOT dead
It was more fun here when Shawn was just a cheat and a jerk.)

Whatever on the ghosts, but looking forward to more of Fish and Game, along with the four bears, or maybe four 🦃🦃🦃🦃

[Chuck Murray]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

Fun with Souza, Dick & Stu - Offseason Edition - Part IV

Three men take a short drive to the fourth tee
Stu hangs on in the back
An empty can of Tab is next to him
Stu smells the can
Stu does not know what Tab smells like
Stu does know what beer smells like
This does not smell like beer
Stu thinks it must be Schlitz then

The fourth is a wide par 4
Souza hits first
Souza hits a three wood
Souza fades into the first cut
Stu hits next this time
Stu will grip and rip
Stu nails it
Short iron to the green
Stu does not need Tab
Dick hits last
Dick hits a bad shot
"Fore!"
Dick will play it where it lies
It now lies at the ladies' tee
Unlucky shot, Dick

Dick asks Souza to drive him to his ball
Stu and Souza leave Dick to hit their balls
Dick is sore
Dick can't reach the green from here
Dick will have to lay up
Dick hears a strange sound next to the tee

"Pssst, Dick. Over here. It is me"
Dick sees a short man in camo gear
The gear fools Dick
The voice does not
"Is that you, Spot?"
"Yes it is, Dick! Long time no see!"
"Why are you here now, Spot?"
"This is my side job. Bored in the Spring"
"You can loop for me then, Spot. My back is sore"
"Sounds like fun, Dick. Let's do it"
"Sure, you bet. By the way, you look like he11"

(Boys and girls ... in golf slang, a looper is another word for a caddy. Caddies count their rounds as loops of the course, which can be important when it comes time to get paid by the caddy master. Of course, tips are extra. And if you can't tell by now, the fourth hole is more of a character development hole, and less to do with any so-called plot that may - or may not - be evolving in WIS' off-season sense of ennui. Now, back out to the course ... )

Dick tells Spot the tale of Hole Three
Spot says he also saw Grant in the woods
Spot and Grant are old pals
Paths can cross a lot in Flin Flon
Spot did not see Shawn though
Dick shows Spot a selfie
There is Grant on Dick's right side
Shawn is not on his left side
But Dick's left arm is up
There are no bears
Now Spot thinks Dick is nuts from sun stroke

Spot picks up Dick's bag
Dick hits a three wood up next to Stu
Souza hits next
Souza hits an eight iron to the green
Good shot, Souza!
Stu does not wait for Dick or his new pal
Stu his a nine, and his ball is stiff to the pin
Good shot Stu!
Dick and Spot are next
Dick hits a nine, and he is on now too
Good shot Dick!

Souza and Stu drive up next to the green
Spot and Dick's bag are late

"Dick, we are two groups behind the Cox group"
"I think I know most of those guys Spot. But you said four?"
"Yes I did, Dick"
"There are only three who play in the Cox group"
"Today there are four"
"Who is their fourth, Spot?"
"He is a Cox too. We will pass them on Hole Five. You will see then"

Dick and Spot reach the green on foot
Souza and Stu see camo
Souza and Stu do not hear Spot yet
Dick will put first
Spot helps Dick line up the long putt
Dick drains the long put for a par
Good shot, Dick! Good help, Spot!
Souza is next
Souza hits his putt
Souza does not hit his putt to the pin
"You can pick that up Souza" chirps Dick
Stu has three feet for a three
Stu waits a moment
Stu does not hear a peep
Stu will have to putt
Stu holes the putt for a birdie
Now Stu will have honor on the next hole

Stu and Souza still do not know who Spot is
But they will find out very soon
Dick opens another can of Schlitz Tab
Dick's back still hurts
Dick's head is starting to hurt too

The score after four holes (Par 15) stands:

Souza -1 Dick +1 *Stu +1

Souza has the lead
Stu now has honors

[Snively65]

Fun with Souza, Dick & Stu - Offseason Edition - Part IV

Dick tells Spot the tale of Hole Three
Spot says he also saw Grant in the woods
Spot and Grant are old pals
Paths can cross a lot in Flin Flon
Spot did not see Shawn though
Dick shows Spot a selfie
There is Grant on Dick's right side
Shawn is not on his left side
But Dick's left arm is up
There are no bears
Now Spot thinks Dick is nuts from sun stroke

"Dick, we are two groups behind the Cox group"

Spot did not see the four bears, but what about Fish and Game? Lots of loose ends between these two holes.

[Chuck Murray]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

Spot did not see the four bears, but what about Fish and Game? Lots of loose ends between these two holes.

Fish and Game seek the four bears
Spot does not seek the four bears
The four bears left with Grant and Shawn
Spot seeks Dick, and Spot found Dick
Spot saw Grant but did not see Shawn
Fish and Game do not seek Spot
Spot does not seek Fish and Game
Golf course trees let many things hide

Now my head hurts too
Must be the Schlitz Tab

[Snively65]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

For just a quick diversion from golf, UMass posted their schedule yesterday, and it appears that we will visit Amherst on November 4th and the Minutemen will visit the Whitt on February 3rd. Now, back to golf.

[C-H-C]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

According to Mark Divver (Providence Journal), sophomore Anthony Wyse (Winnipeg), and seniors Danny Tirone (Pittsburgh) and Jason Salvaggio (Nashville) will attend NHL Developnent Camps this summer.

[Darius]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

From the NU web site regarding next season's schedule: (teams will play) ...24 Hockey East games (two games against each of the other ten Hockey East teams, two additional home games, and two additional road games. These four “bonus” games are selected by Hockey East using an algorithm meant to keep each schedule as “fair” as possible.

[Snively65]

From the NU web site regarding next season's schedule: (teams will play) ...24 Hockey East games (two games against each of the other ten Hockey East teams, two additional home games, and two additional road games. These four “bonus” games are selected by Hockey East using an algorithm meant to keep each schedule as “fair” as possible.

Yup. And, if you check out Flagdude's scheduling thread, you will see that he has figured out which HEA teams will be playing one another three times; UNH to play Maine, UML, NU, and UVM a third game. Now, let's get the Cats' schedule posted already!

EDIT: Brown's schedule just posted, and the Brown Bears (not to be confused with the four Maine black bears being hunted by Fish and Game on a local golf course) are visiting the Whitt on Saturday evening, January 6, 2018. Better get your tickets early for this one!

[Chuck Murray]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

Fun with Souza, Dick & Stu - Offseason Edition - Part V

Now four men head to the fifth tee
Souza and Stu are in the cart
Dick walks while Spot loops
Dick is happy to see Spot
Dick is happy to see Hole Five
Five is a short par 5
Dick likes those a lot

Stu hits first this time
Stu will grip and rip a two wood
Stu hits it flush but the ball fades
The ball finds a trap on the right

Now Souza will hit next
Souza hits his low and well
His ball rolls into the first cut right

Dick turns to Spot and asks for his four wood
Spot chirps "Good choice boss!"
Souza looks at Stu
"That sounds like Spot, Stu"
"I think you are right, Souza"
"Spot was the best. Did Spot spot you, Stu?"
"He got here when I played but he did not spot me. You?"
"He was here when I played too, but he did not spot me"
"Then who did spot you, Souza?"
"One of Dick's high school pals gave my name to Chris"
"Boy I miss Chris too"
"You got that right, Stu"

Dick hits his ball high and short
Dick's ball hits the cart path
Over and over and over
Dick's ball rolls 300 yards

The men head out to their next shots
Stu plays it safe and chips out of the trap
He will need a long iron to the green
Souza will try to reach the green in two
Souza hits it high
Souza hits it short
There is a pond in front of the green
Souza's ball is wet
"Unlucky Souza!!"

Souza and Stu catch up to Dick and Spot
"Hey Spot - good to see you man!"
"Dick plays good with you on his bag"
"Not much has changed, eh?"

Dick shoots Stu a harsh glare again
Dick is and now Dick wants to hit the green in two too
"Give me my two wood Spot"
Dick hits it hard and low
Dick hits it in the pond
Nope - Dick hits it on the pond
The ball skips three times on the pond
The ball stops on the green, ten feet from the pin
Souza and Stu are

Stu chips his third shot to the green, and is eight feet away
"Good shot Dick!! Lucky shot Stu!!"
Souza drops his ball and adds one
Souza hits shot four onto the green nine feet from the pin

The four men reach the green
Dick is long of the three so should go first
Souza offers to go first instead
"You can see how my ball rolls first, boss"
Stu thinks Souza is a kiss butt
"What is your point, Stu?"
Souza putts but his ball rims out
Souza takes a six - unlucky Souza
Dick gets a clean read and sees no break
Dick asks Stu to hit next, just to make sure
Stu but does go to putt next
Stu's putt rims out on the other side
"Pick yours up Stu"
"Eat my shorts Dick"
Dick has to laugh at Stu
"Have a Schlitz Tab on the house, Stu!"
Dick rolls in a three dead center
"When is the last time you got an eagle, Dick?"
"That would have been Todd Hall, guys"

Spot made a joke!! Good joke, Spot!! Even Dick laughs at that one!!

Spot smiles but not for long
Spot sees the Cox group on the seventh hole
Dick sees the four men in the Cox group
So do Souza and Stu
"The first one is Jeff Cox, Stu - he writes a blog"
"The second one is Ralph Cox, Souza"
"Yup. Last cut from the '80 gold medal team"
"The third one is Cliff from back in my day"
"Yeah, Dick. Clark-Hislop-Cox. We all know that"
"And the fourth is Puff"
Stu is and says "It is Puff, but he is not a Cox"

Dick says jack squat
Dick knows what Spot will say next
"Yes, Puff is a Cox. Cox is his first name. His last name ... "

(Sorry, boys and girls, but I've got to jump in here for a moment to spare you all some really salty locker room talk again, and make sure the USCHO mods do not ruin our civil offseason round here. Let's just say that Spot and Puff did not end up on good terms in their time together at the U, and leave it at that. If only we could count on those guys just letting byegones be byegones, we'd all be the better for it. Anyway, back to the action ... )

" ... (rhymes with Tucker)!!"

From the seventh green, Puff eyes Spot
From the sixth tee, Spot glares at Puff
"Hey you over there. Spot, get the eff off this course!!"
"You're not in charge here, Puff. Go jump in the pond, you A hole"
Dick tries to grab Spot but it is too late
Puff tries to hide behind the Cox men but it is too late
The fur will fly soon in the litter box sand trap
Fish and Game will have a huge mess on their hands

The score after five holes (Par 20) stands:

*Dick -1 Souza E Stu +1

Dick now has the lead
Dick now has honors too

It is the front nine after all

[Snively65]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

Ah, ha, so Fish and Game are still lurking on the course!

Meanwhile, NU has released its schedule, in which the Cats visit Matthews on February 2nd and 23rd, and the Huskies visit the Whitt on February 24th.

With two games each against Bentley and Sacred Heart and one against AIC, Huskies and Mad Again giving Cats and Dick a run at cupcake schedule?

[UML Puck Hawk]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

Can you guys out cupcake NU this year?

Is Madigan chasing a round number too?

[mookie1995]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

From the NU web site regarding next season's schedule: (teams will play) ...24 Hockey East games (two games against each of the other ten Hockey East teams, two additional home games, and two additional road games. These four “bonus” games are selected by Hockey East using an algorithm meant to keep each schedule as “fair” as possible.

so who gets to play y'all in the fall for an easy win, and who has to play nu in the spring where it will be tougher to get a w?

[Chuck Murray]

Re: UNH Wildcats 2017 Off-season: The Clash Question

Fun with Souza, Dick & Stu - Offseason Edition - Part VI

Three men wait at the sixth tee
Spot has left Dick to lug his own bag
Spot has big fish to fry with Puff
Spot runs fast to greet his pal Puff
See Spot run! Run Spot run!!
Puff now thinks it was dumb to taunt Spot
Puff tries to hide in the green side trap
"That will not work, Puff!!"
"I'll hit you with the rake then, Spot!!"

This does not stop Spot in the least
Spot jumps in the trap to beat down Puff
Uh oh, Puff - time for pay back
The Cox boys will not take sides
This is The Code - boys will be boys
They know Puff once shanked Spot
Puff has been due a beat down by Spot
For some time now
Spot smacks Puff lots of times
With his fists
With the trap rake
With Puff's own clubs
Puff is a pool of blood now

Fish and Game come to the trap
"What is up here, gents?"
Ralph says "Puff stepped on the rake"
Cliff says "Rake hit Puff's face hard"
Jeff shakes his head and says zilch
It is not his place to squeal on Spot
He does not want to get beat down by Spot some day

"I just shot that bear over there, Game"
"The bear bled less than this man here, Fish"
"So this was just an oops then, guys?"
The Cox boys all nod to say yes
Fish goes back to load up the dead bear on a truck
Game takes Puff to get his boo boos fixed
Spot will wait for Dick and the boys to catch up later

Back at the sixth tee, the boys shake their heads
"Spot sure beat the bag out of Puff, Stu"
"Puff was due a beat down, Souza. Good for Spot"
"Who will put my bag on the cart for me?"
Souza loads the bag on the back with the Tab

Dick hits a four wood this time
Dick's shot finds the fringe. Good shot Dick!
Stu hits next, and he hits a six iron
Stu lands it right on the green twelve feet from the pin
Souza hits last but hits it too hard
Souza is in the rough at the back of the green

Souza asks Dick to sit with him up front
Stu will have to watch the Tab in the back with Dick's bag
Dick asks for a Tab from Stu
Stu throws Dick a Tab
Stu does not take his own Tab
Stu thinks Schlitz Tab states like swill

"Why did you not stop Spot, Dick?"
"I thought you two guys were pals?"
"I am good pals with Spot too, you know"
"But Puff will be mad we did not help him"
Silly Souza now thinks Puff will fire him too
Stu does not give a rat's *****
Stu got passed by Puff
Stu got raked by Dick too
Stu thinks this is all good fun

At the green, Souza will go first
He chips his ball to five feet from the pin
"You can pick that up, Souza!"
Dick should chip next
But Stu has his putt in Dick's line
Stu knows what Dick will say next
So he goes to putt next and does not ask
This time Stu drains his putt for a three
No one says "Nice shot Stu"
Dick lines up his chip and leaves it short
Ten feet short
Stu tells Dick he can pick his up for par
Dick and Souza are
Stu thinks "Two can play this game"
Souza thinks "Now Stu plays kiss *****?"
Dick thinks "This is great. Two saps help keep my score low"

The men move on to Tee seven and it starts to rain

The score after six holes (Par 23) stands:

Dick -1 Souza E *Stu E

Dick still has the lead
Stu now has honors
Souza wants some Schlitz Tab
They are almost out though
Dick's thirst must have been dire