Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #91
    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    If you look into a mirror and say "pumpkin spice latte" three times, a suburban white girl in yoga pants will appear and tell you everything she loves about fall.
    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
    Patreon for exclusive writing content
    Adventures With Amber Marie

    Comment


    • #92
      Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

      Not sure if this has been posted anywhere and couldn't find another place to put it but it's a fkn hoot.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21vVxIioBF8
      A bad cause requires many words.

      Comment


      • #93
        Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

        Originally posted by SonofSouthie View Post
        Not sure if this has been posted anywhere and couldn't find another place to put it but it's a fkn hoot.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21vVxIioBF8
        Oh, oh, I know this one! The white and black cats are rural and industrial labor, and the crow is Jewish international finance.
        Cornell University
        National Champion 1967, 1970
        ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
        Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

        Comment


        • #94
          Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

          Originally posted by Kepler View Post
          Oh, oh, I know this one! The white and black cats are rural and industrial labor, and the crow is Jewish international finance.
          Ding, ding, ding, ding.
          A bad cause requires many words.

          Comment


          • #95
            Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

            So the Sunday School teacher asks her young students, "what part of the body is closest to heaven?"

            -- our heads, because we use our thoughts to pray
            -- our hands, because we fold them together to ask for help as we pray
            -- our hearts, because we love God

            ... -- our feet

            "Our feet? how so?"

            -- well, I heard funny noises from mom and dad's bedroom, and so I looked in to see what was going on. Mommy was lying on her back with her feet in the air, and Daddy's head was between her legs, and I heard Mommy say, 'Oh, God, I'm coming!' and so it must be her feet that are closest to heaven, right?"
            "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

            "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

            "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

            "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

            Comment


            • #96
              Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

              Q: How many climate denialists does it take to change a light bulb?

              A: Light comes from the Sun. Duh.

              A: We should wait until it gets dark to see whether the bulb is really broken.

              A: The Great Light Bulb Swindle is a scam by Big Light Bulb to sell more light bulbs.

              A: The Darkenists don’t even understand basic science. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, therefore darkness is impossible.

              A: It’s OK – it has been much darker than this in the past. During the Medieval Dark Ages, there were Vikings in Greenland!

              A: If the light bulb needed changing, the market would have changed it by now.

              A: Darkness is beneficial — it will increase mushroom yields and make life better for owls.

              A: There is a natural 24-hour cycle of light and dark which humans have a negligible impact on. Anyway, we are just about to enter a natural darkening period.

              A: Genesis 1:3 tells us “Let there be light”. The power of prayer will fix the light bulb.

              Taken from this wonderful blog.
              Cornell University
              National Champion 1967, 1970
              ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
              Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

              Comment


              • #97
                Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                I was told "dress for the job you want, not the job you have."

                So now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                Patreon for exclusive writing content
                Adventures With Amber Marie

                Comment


                • #98
                  Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                  Originally posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
                  I was told "dress for the job you want, not the job you have."

                  So now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
                  Speaking of.
                  Cornell University
                  National Champion 1967, 1970
                  ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                  Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

                  Comment


                  • #99
                    I will not judge you based on your sexuality, religion, or race.

                    Things I will judge you for:

                    1. Not using your turn signal while driving.
                    2. How you treat wait staff.
                    3. Which way you place the toilet paper roll.
                    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                    Patreon for exclusive writing content
                    Adventures With Amber Marie

                    Comment


                    • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                      A hunter in the woods comes across a beautiful woman with no clothes on. "Are you game" he asks. "Sure" she replies. So he shot her.
                      A bad cause requires many words.

                      Comment


                      • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                        Originally posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
                        3. Which way you place the toilet paper roll.
                        Over or die.
                        Cornell University
                        National Champion 1967, 1970
                        ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                        Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

                        Comment


                        • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                          Originally posted by Kepler View Post
                          Over the top or face the consequences.
                          The preceding post may contain trigger words and is not safe-space approved. <-- Virtue signaling.

                          North Dakota Hockey:

                          Comment


                          • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                            Originally posted by The Sicatoka View Post
                            Over the top or face the consequences.
                            There are way too many brands of that.
                            Cornell University
                            National Champion 1967, 1970
                            ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
                            Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014, 2018, 2019, 2020

                            Comment


                            • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                              My friends are like:

                              Friend 1: "I got promoted!"
                              Friend 2: "I got engaged!"
                              Friend 3: "I'm pregnant!"

                              And I'm over here: "One more punch on my rewards card and I get a free coffee!"
                              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                              Patreon for exclusive writing content
                              Adventures With Amber Marie

                              Comment


                              • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                                Originally posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
                                And I'm over here: "One more punch on my rewards card and I get a free coffee!"
                                Panera? Panera? Please-please tell me Panera!
                                The preceding post may contain trigger words and is not safe-space approved. <-- Virtue signaling.

                                North Dakota Hockey:

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X