A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

[MissThundercat]

I just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.

[MissThundercat]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Saw on the news that $43 million in cash was found in an empty Nigerian apartment. Poor guy probably spent the last decade trying to share it, but no one responded to his email.

[MissThundercat]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Me, most of the time: People are good at heart and really aren't all that bad.

Me, after reading the comments section on any article or YouTube video: This world can only be cleansed with fire.

[Kepler]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Me, most of the time: People are good at heart and really aren't all that bad.

Me, after reading the comments section on any article or YouTube video: This world can only be cleansed with fire.

Exactly true.

I believe in the 2:7:1 rule. About 20% of humans are genuinely wonderful, so good you feel a little ashamed of yourself when you're around them. 10% are snakes. The rest of us are just doing the best we can with what we've got and trying to leave our little corner a little nicer than how we found it. This is true in NYC or Outer Mongolia. It's hardware.

But the Comments section on a reasonably open forum seem to run about 0:3:7.

[MissThundercat]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

To-do list for this weekend:

1. Buy four pigs.
2. Paint numbers 1, 2, 3, and 5 on their backs.
3. Release them in Sam's Club.
4. Sit back and watch management scramble to find number 4.

[SonofSouthie]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.
She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken

[Kepler]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.
She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken

IMO this is close to the perfect joke. It's the very first joke I ever heard (that I can recall) and it really hasn't been exceeded yet for a variety of reasons.

If there's a joke hall of fame, this is one of my initial inductees.

[FadeToBlack&Gold]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

How many Trumps does it take to change a light bulb?



...



None. Donald will just Tweet that he made a tremendous deal to have it changed, while his supporters back him up as they sit in the dark, happy that they can't see any black or brown people.

[The Rube]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

IMO this is close to the perfect joke. It's the very first joke I ever heard (that I can recall) and it really hasn't been exceeded yet for a variety of reasons.

If there's a joke hall of fame, this is one of my initial inductees.

The joke HOF starts and ends with The Aristocrats.

[Kepler]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

The joke HOF starts and ends with The Aristocrats.

The Aristocrats isn't a joke, it's a bit.

[The Rube]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

The Aristocrats isn't a joke, it's a bit.

Semantics at best, but it's still a joke, and hilarious. Shows certain chops in the comedy biz. I can't replicate that improv creativity. Takes a special mindset to tell that joke.

[MissThundercat]

Heard the founder of Costco died. His family was upset they could only buy caskets in packs of three, but the price was good.

[FreshFish]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Heard the founder of Costco died. His family was upset they could only buy caskets in packs of three, but the price was good.

If Jesus Christ had purchased life insurance, would he have to refund the insurance claim?

[MissThundercat]

Ran into a vegan guy who does CrossFit. He told me about CrossFit first.

[Kepler]

Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

Ran into a vegan guy who does CrossFit. He told me about CrossFit first.

Well you know he isn't a libertarian.