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A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

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  • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Vince Vaughn, Robert De Niro, and Matthew McConaughey decide to make a movie together.
    Vaughn says "I'll produce"
    De Niro says "I'll direct"
    McConaughey says, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write"
    Originally posted by West Texas Wolverine
    wT, your wisdom is as boundless as the volume of your cheering.



    Arenas visited:
    7 B1G
    7 CCHA (all except St Thomas)
    6 NCH (UNO, NoDak, DU, Miami, SCSU, WMU)
    5 Hockey East (BU, BC, UNH, Lowell, Vermont)
    5 ECAC (RPI, Union, Dartmouth, St. Lawrence, Clarkson)
    2 AHA (Mercyhurst, RIT)
    2 Alaskan

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    • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

      Pride was this month. I think Wrath is next month.
      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
      Patreon for exclusive writing content
      Adventures With Amber Marie

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      • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

        "Wow, three tattoos... those are permanent, you know."

        Yeah, you have three kids... those are pretty **** permanent, Janice.
        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
        Patreon for exclusive writing content
        Adventures With Amber Marie

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        • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

          How to win an argument on the Internet (or here on USCHO):

          1. Shut off your computer
          2. Go outside
          3. Do something fun.
          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
          Patreon for exclusive writing content
          Adventures With Amber Marie

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          • Originally posted by MissThundercat View Post
            How to win an argument on the Internet (or here on USCHO):

            1. Shut off your computer
            2. Go outside
            3. Do something fun.
            .

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            • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

              Someone left a grocery list in this cart that said "coffee and sh-t".... so my soulmate is out there.

              And I'm sorry your day started with a drink made of ground up vegetables.
              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
              Patreon for exclusive writing content
              Adventures With Amber Marie

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              • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                Buying fruits and vegetables and letting them rot is an important first step in buying fruits and vegetables.

                Likewise, putting on workout clothes and not working out is an important first step in working out.

                Fruits and vegetables rot faster when you're the one who buys them.
                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                Patreon for exclusive writing content
                Adventures With Amber Marie

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                • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                  I was going to tell a time travel joke, but you didn't like it.
                  Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                  "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                  Patreon for exclusive writing content
                  Adventures With Amber Marie

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                  • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                    I bought my boyfriend a get better soon card... not that he's sick or anything, he just needs to get better.
                    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                    Patreon for exclusive writing content
                    Adventures With Amber Marie

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                    • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                      A cabbie picks up a Nun.

                      She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

                      She asks him why he is staring.

                      He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'

                      She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'

                      'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

                      She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:

                      #1, you have to be single and

                      #2, you must be Catholic.'

                      The cab driver is very excited and says,

                      'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

                      'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

                      The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

                      But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

                      'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'

                      'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

                      The nun says, 'That's OK.

                      My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'
                      A bad cause requires many words.

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                      • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                        You can say "have a nice day" and there's no problem.

                        You say "enjoy the next 24 hours" and you sound vaguely threatening.
                        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                        Patreon for exclusive writing content
                        Adventures With Amber Marie

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                        • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                          I like that one
                          Code:
                          As of 9/21/10:         As of 9/13/10:
                          College Hockey 6       College Football 0
                          BTHC 4                 WCHA FC:  1
                          Originally posted by SanTropez
                          May your paint thinner run dry and the fleas of a thousand camels infest your dead deer.
                          Originally posted by bigblue_dl
                          I don't even know how to classify magic vagina smoke babies..
                          Originally posted by Kepler
                          When the giraffes start building radio telescopes they can join too.
                          He's probably going to be a superstar but that man has more baggage than North West

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                          • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                            I do, too.

                            Related:

                            You can also say "Good evening," and it's a greeting. However, if you say "Good night," that's a goodbye.
                            Never really developed a taste for tequila. Kind of hard to understand how you make a drink out of something that sharp, inhospitable. Now, bourbon is easy to understand.
                            Tastes like a warm summer day. -Raylan Givens

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                            • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                              I had the misfortune of being exposed to Wisconsin style humor this past weekend.

                              Bob, Alan and Joe were out fishing. Nature called for Bob, so he proceeded to stand up in the boat, unzip his pants and urinate over the side. A wave from a passing boat suddenly struck, hurling Bob over the side, where he quickly sunk out of sight.

                              Alan and Joe sat looking at one another for a moment. Joe then reluctantly stood up and dove over the side of the boat after Bob.

                              Joe resurfaced a minute later, a lifeless body in tow. After three or four minutes of unsuccessful mouth to mouth resuscitation by Joe, he turned to Alan and said, "Jeez, I didn't remember that Bob had such terrible breath."

                              Alan responded, "Yeah, I was just thinking that I didn't remember Bob wearing that snowmobile suit."
                              That community is already in the process of dissolution where each man begins to eye his neighbor as a possible enemy, where non-conformity with the accepted creed, political as well as religious, is a mark of disaffection; where denunciation, without specification or backing, takes the place of evidence; where orthodoxy chokes freedom of dissent; where faith in the eventual supremacy of reason has become so timid that we dare not enter our convictions in the open lists, to win or lose.

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                              • Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

                                Originally posted by Brenthoven View Post
                                I do, too.

                                Related:

                                You can also say "Good evening," and it's a greeting. However, if you say "Good night," that's a goodbye.
                                I was just thinking that "Good evening!" could also come from an admirer of a bricklayer finishing a perfect course.

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