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Thread: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

  1. #181
    Anti-Semantic Brenthoven's Avatar
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Quote Originally Posted by St. Clown View Post
    In the movie Blast from the Past, there's a scene where the father, played Christopher Walken, tries to explain baseball to his son, who has only known life living in a bomb shelter. It's clearly a play on the Cooperstown sign. The kid isn't getting the whole concept of a force-out. The whole scene becomes a mini-montage. Later in the movie, when the now adult son is out in the world, he attends his first baseball game and has that moment of recognition, "I get it now, it's because he has to!"
    While not a great movie, it's a movie very much worth watching. It was well done, for what it was. I still chortle when I see the scene "Oh my lucky stars! A Negro!"
    Never really developed a taste for tequila. Kind of hard to understand how you make a drink out of something that sharp, inhospitable. Now, bourbon is easy to understand.
    Tastes like a warm summer day. -Raylan Givens

  2. #182
    DYKWIA? FadeToBlack&Gold's Avatar
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    A lawyer, a real estate agent, and a consultant walk into a bar. They proceed to complain about how Wall Street is "so dishonest". #irony

  3. #183
    NEVER DIE! ShirtlessBob's Avatar
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    How do you restore your body back to factory settings? Is it kale? It's kale, isn't it? Please don't say kale.
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
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    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  4. #184

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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Quote Originally Posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
    How do you restore your body back to factory settings?
    Have you tried turning it off and on again?
    Last edited by Kepler; 06-06-2017 at 07:54 AM.
    2016 USCHO POSER OF THE YEAR

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  5. #185
    Lucia Apologist
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    That clip better involve Kiefer Sutherland.

  6. #186

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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Quote Originally Posted by dxmnkd316 View Post
    That clip better involve Kiefer Sutherland.
    I'm still mad at KS for 24. I swear that show single-handedly set American foreign policy back 50 years.
    2016 USCHO POSER OF THE YEAR

    "The strength and power of despotism consists wholly in the fear of resistance." -- Thomas Paine

    Cornell University
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  7. #187
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Kepler View Post
    I'm still mad at KS for 24. I swear that show single-handedly set American foreign policy back 50 years.
    I liked the first few seasons. You could be right though.

    Also: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flatliners
    Code:
    As of 9/21/10:         As of 9/13/10:
    College Hockey 6       College Football 0
    BTHC 4                 WCHA FC:  1
    Quote Originally Posted by SanTropez View Post
    May your paint thinner run dry and the fleas of a thousand camels infest your dead deer.
    Quote Originally Posted by bigblue_dl View Post
    I don't even know how to classify magic vagina smoke babies..
    Quote Originally Posted by Kepler View Post
    When the giraffes start building radio telescopes they can join too.
    He's probably going to be a superstar but that man has more baggage than North West.

  8. #188
    lubba wubba dub dub
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    A photon is checking into a hotel when the desk worker asks him if he needs help with his luggage. The photon replies, "No, that's okay. I'm traveling light."
    "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

    Women and I have an understanding. They tend to stay away from me, and I tend to understand that I'm repulsive to them. It's not my favorite understanding.

  9. #189
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Quote Originally Posted by St. Clown View Post
    A photon is checking into a hotel when the desk worker asks him if he needs help with his luggage. The photon replies, "No, that's okay. I'm traveling light."
    Were they traveling through a slit or a revolving door?
    Code:
    As of 9/21/10:         As of 9/13/10:
    College Hockey 6       College Football 0
    BTHC 4                 WCHA FC:  1
    Quote Originally Posted by SanTropez View Post
    May your paint thinner run dry and the fleas of a thousand camels infest your dead deer.
    Quote Originally Posted by bigblue_dl View Post
    I don't even know how to classify magic vagina smoke babies..
    Quote Originally Posted by Kepler View Post
    When the giraffes start building radio telescopes they can join too.
    He's probably going to be a superstar but that man has more baggage than North West.

  10. #190

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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Quote Originally Posted by dxmnkd316 View Post
    Were they traveling through a slit or a revolving door?
    Well, the slit said it was both.

    And neither.

    But slits lie.
    Last edited by Kepler; 06-06-2017 at 11:15 AM.
    2016 USCHO POSER OF THE YEAR

    "The strength and power of despotism consists wholly in the fear of resistance." -- Thomas Paine

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  11. #191
    Kichizapi Chetan
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Quote Originally Posted by dxmnkd316 View Post
    Were they traveling through a slit or a revolving door?
    That doesn't matter as much as if someone else was watching.
    The preceding post may contain trigger words and is not safe-space approved.

    North Dakota Hockey:

  12. #192
    NEVER DIE! ShirtlessBob's Avatar
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Eggs are fantastic for a fitness diet. If you don't like the taste, just add flour, butter, sugar, baking powder, and cocoa powder and bake in a 180C oven for 30 minutes.
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  13. #193

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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Quote Originally Posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
    180C
    What kind of sorcery is this?
    2016 USCHO POSER OF THE YEAR

    "The strength and power of despotism consists wholly in the fear of resistance." -- Thomas Paine

    Cornell University
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    ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
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  14. #194
    NEVER DIE! ShirtlessBob's Avatar
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Quote Originally Posted by kepler View Post
    what kind of sorcery is this?
    350f
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  15. #195
    Kichizapi Chetan
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Two guys got caught stealing from the calendar factory.

    They each got six months.
    The preceding post may contain trigger words and is not safe-space approved.

    North Dakota Hockey:

  16. #196
    NEVER DIE! ShirtlessBob's Avatar
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    I just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.

  17. #197
    NEVER DIE! ShirtlessBob's Avatar
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Saw on the news that $43 million in cash was found in an empty Nigerian apartment. Poor guy probably spent the last decade trying to share it, but no one responded to his email.
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  18. #198
    NEVER DIE! ShirtlessBob's Avatar
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Me, most of the time: People are good at heart and really aren't all that bad.

    Me, after reading the comments section on any article or YouTube video: This world can only be cleansed with fire.
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  19. #199

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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    Quote Originally Posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
    Me, most of the time: People are good at heart and really aren't all that bad.

    Me, after reading the comments section on any article or YouTube video: This world can only be cleansed with fire.
    Exactly true.

    I believe in the 2:7:1 rule. About 20% of humans are genuinely wonderful, so good you feel a little ashamed of yourself when you're around them. 10% are snakes. The rest of us are just doing the best we can with what we've got and trying to leave our little corner a little nicer than how we found it. This is true in NYC or Outer Mongolia. It's hardware.

    But the Comments section on a reasonably open forum seem to run about 0:3:7.
    2016 USCHO POSER OF THE YEAR

    "The strength and power of despotism consists wholly in the fear of resistance." -- Thomas Paine

    Cornell University
    NCAA Champion 1967, 1970
    ECAC Champion 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1973, 1980, 1986, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2010
    Ivy League Champion 1966, 1967, 1968, 1969, 1970, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1977, 1978, 1983, 1984, 1985, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2012, 2014

  20. #200
    NEVER DIE! ShirtlessBob's Avatar
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    Re: A light bulb, a door-to-door jokester and a geneticist walk into a bar ...

    To-do list for this weekend:

    1. Buy four pigs.
    2. Paint numbers 1, 2, 3, and 5 on their backs.
    3. Release them in Sam's Club.
    4. Sit back and watch management scramble to find number 4.
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

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