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Thread: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

  1. #81
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Email address protocols and file-naming protocols also have some unintended consequences.

    Like, first three letters of surname followed by first initial of given name....

    Terri Cunningham was really offended. So was Tanya Sluman.

    Karl Fuchs was merely amused, as was Paul Cramer.
    "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

    "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

    "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

  2. #82
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
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  3. #83

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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10


  4. #84
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    At first I thought he was a racist homophobic misogynist, but then I realized he was just an equal-opportunity misanthrope.
    "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

    "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

    "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

  5. #85
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Quote Originally Posted by joecct View Post

    #5 is classic.
    "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

    "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

    "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

  6. #86
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Why couldn't the chameleon change color?

    He had a reptile dysfunction.
    Uncle Mickey: July 23, 1950-July 22, 2003

    WRPI, 91.5 FM...usually color commentary.

  7. #87
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

    Because the P is silent.
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  8. #88
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Why don't cats eat clocks?

    Because it can be very time consuming.
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  9. #89
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    I couldn't find the "joke" thread....

    Please forgive a political joke, this particular one I actually laughed out loud...

    A man went into a Muslim bookstore and started browsing. The store owner asked if he could help.

    "I'm looking for the book by Donald Trump about all the problems caused by Muslim immigrants."

    The store owner was upset: "Get the f&ck out of here and never come back!"

    The man replied, "yes, that's the one! Do you have a paperback version?"
    "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

    "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

    "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

  10. #90
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Who replies to rhetorical questions, anyway?
    "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

    "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

    "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

  11. #91
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Quote Originally Posted by FreshFish View Post
    Who replies to rhetorical questions, anyway?
    Me. As an arrogant Michigan alumna and egotistical trumpet player, I feel the need to share my knowledge with the world, even if no one wanted the answer.

    You're welcome.

  12. #92
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    What kind of diagram do you use to cross breed bad plays on words?

    A Punnett Square.
    Uncle Mickey: July 23, 1950-July 22, 2003

    WRPI, 91.5 FM...usually color commentary.

  13. #93
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? He was practicing transcend dental medication.

  14. #94
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    People have been wondering whether the Vice-President is going to run for President or not.

    He seems in no hurry to make a decision; I guess he is bidin' his time.
    "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

    "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

    "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

  15. #95
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Quote Originally Posted by FreshFish View Post
    Who replies to rhetorical questions, anyway?
    But what would the world be like with no rhetorical questions?

  16. #96
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    A motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual Norse monarchs. The Bikings.

  17. #97
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    A roman walks into a bar, holds up 2 fingers and says, "I'd like five beers please."



    I may have posted this one before, but I don't care. Still funny IMHO.

  18. #98

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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiggsy View Post
    A roman walks into a bar, holds up 2 fingers and says, "I'd like five beers please."



    I may have posted this one before, but I don't care. Still funny IMHO.
    And a martinus instead of a martini.

    Rinse the Blood off My Toga
    Last edited by joecct; 09-21-2015 at 12:48 PM.
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  19. #99
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    What do you call a Knight who runs around in circles?

    Circumference.
    Uncle Mickey: July 23, 1950-July 22, 2003

    WRPI, 91.5 FM...usually color commentary.

  20. #100

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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    @just-shower-thoughts

    If “womb” is pronounced “woom” and “tomb” is pronounced “toom”, shouldn’t “bomb” be pronounced “boom”?
    CCT '77 & '78
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    ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
    - Benjamin Franklin

    Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

    I want to live forever. So far, so good.

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