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Really Terrible Puns, v 10

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  • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Had to get my pet Lizard some Valium as he’s been a bit stressed out lately. Now he’s a calmer calmer calmer calmer chameleon
    CCT '77 & '78
    4 kids
    5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
    1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

    ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
    - Benjamin Franklin

    Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

    I want to live forever. So far, so good.

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    • Heckler: Terry? That's a lame name.

      The heckler died from dissing Terry.
      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
      Patreon for exclusive writing content
      Adventures With Amber Marie

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      • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

        Originally posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
        Heckler: Terry? That's a lame name.

        The heckler died from dissing Terry.
        You have to drop the g on dissing to really make that one work.
        "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." George Orwell, 1984

        "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume." Boromir

        "Good news! We have a delivery." Professor Farnsworth

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        • There's been an explosion at a cheese factory in France... there's de-Brie everywhere.
          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
          Patreon for exclusive writing content
          Adventures With Amber Marie

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          • What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?

            A synonym roll.
            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
            Patreon for exclusive writing content
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            • Originally posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
              Heckler: Terry? That's a lame name.

              The heckler died from dissin Terry.
              In other words, sh_t happens.
              CCT '77 & '78
              4 kids
              5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
              1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

              ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
              - Benjamin Franklin

              Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

              I want to live forever. So far, so good.

              Comment


              • WARNING: there is an email going around that offers processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can. If you get this email, do not open it! It's spam!
                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                Patreon for exclusive writing content
                Adventures With Amber Marie

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                • Not really a pun, but I'll put it here anyway:

                  Slowly, Waldo's wife and Mr. SanDiego started putting the pieces together.
                  Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                  "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                  Patreon for exclusive writing content
                  Adventures With Amber Marie

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                  • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                    Originally posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
                    Not really a pun, but I'll put it here anyway:

                    Slowly, Waldo's wife and Mr. SanDiego started putting the pieces together.
                    Nice. Imagine a break-dancing animated laughing GIF ... that would be me.

                    Originally posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
                    WARNING: there is an email going around that offers processed pork, gelatin, and salt in a can. If you get this email, do not open it! It's spam!
                    Oooo the latter would be to make up for this - really terrible.

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                    • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                      Originally posted by owslachief View Post
                      Nice. Imagine a break-dancing animated laughing GIF ... that would be me.



                      Oooo the latter would be to make up for this - really terrible.
                      I know. And I have more where that came from.
                      Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                      "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                      Patreon for exclusive writing content
                      Adventures With Amber Marie

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                      • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                        So I met this girl a few months back. Her face was acute, and she had the body of an angle, so we started going out. But things didn't add up.... she claimed to always be right, but she also thought she was perfect! That's just crazy talk.

                        Turns out she was actually a quadrangle that had been bisected. There was this whole other side of her that I'd never even seen. So I said, "baby, the rise is over; it's time for me to run. I thought we were parallel, but it turns out we're perpendicular. We're just not that congruent."

                        She took it hard. Next time I saw her, she'd become obtuse.

                        Don't blame me; geometry puns are a slippery slope.
                        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                        Patreon for exclusive writing content
                        Adventures With Amber Marie

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                        • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                          Also, this:

                          For pizza, if depth=a and radius=z, then the volume=pi*z*z*a.
                          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                          Patreon for exclusive writing content
                          Adventures With Amber Marie

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                          • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                            I am not a grammar Nazi. I am "alt-write."
                            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                            Patreon for exclusive writing content
                            Adventures With Amber Marie

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                            • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                              Patient: Hey doc, do you realize you're writing on my chart with a rectal thermometer?
                              Doctor: Yeah - some a**h*** got my pen.

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                              • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                                What fish is made up of two sodium atoms?

                                2 Na
                                CCT '77 & '78
                                4 kids
                                5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
                                1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

                                ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
                                - Benjamin Franklin

                                Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

                                I want to live forever. So far, so good.

                                Comment

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