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Really Terrible Puns, v 10

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  • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    His girlfriend was deflated when they broke up.
    CCT '77 & '78
    4 kids
    5 grandsons (BCA 7/09, CJA 5/14, JDL 8/14, JFL 6/16, PJL 7/18)
    1 granddaughter (EML 4/18)

    ”Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both.”
    - Benjamin Franklin

    Banned from the St. Lawrence University Facebook page - March 2016 (But I got better).

    I want to live forever. So far, so good.

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    • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

      A friend of mine was talking about the Five-Second Rule the other day. I could not figure out how inbounding a basketball had anything to do with picking food up off the floor.
      "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

      "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

      "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

      "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

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      • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

        Why does the right-to-life movement dislike youth in Asia so much?
        "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

        "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

        "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

        "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

        Comment


        • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

          FF, I am an experienced trail runner. I usually trail everybody.
          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
          Patreon for exclusive writing content
          Adventures With Amber Marie

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          • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

            Want to find out how heavy a chili pepper is?

            Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now...
            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
            Patreon for exclusive writing content
            Adventures With Amber Marie

            Comment


            • Espresso may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot.
              Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
              "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
              Patreon for exclusive writing content
              Adventures With Amber Marie

              Comment


              • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                Earlier, I was looking at an electrical outlet. Watt a sight.

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                • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                  I started writing a screen play in hopes of selling it to be made into a movie. It was about a former CIA operative who's daughter gets kidnapped and sold as a sex slave while he goes to rescue her.
                  Unfortunately I found out that plot was taken.

                  Then I thought well, maybe the CIA guy could get kidnapped by the family of someone he killed earlier and his daughter could help rescue him.
                  But that plot was taken too.

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                  • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                    I tell dad jokes, but I don't have any kids. I'm a faux pa.
                    Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                    "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                    Patreon for exclusive writing content
                    Adventures With Amber Marie

                    Comment


                    • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                      I'm at a reception, and a South African man of Dutch descent walks into the room. The person next to me sees him, rolls her eyes, and leans over to whisper to me "Don't get trapped in a conversation with him; that guy is such a Boer!"
                      "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

                      "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

                      "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

                      "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

                      Comment


                      • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                        I was at a party once, and I lost my watch. I looked over, saw some guy harassing a woman while stepping on my watch. So I walked over and punched him in the face, breaking his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
                        Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                        "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                        Patreon for exclusive writing content
                        Adventures With Amber Marie

                        Comment


                        • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                          Charlie Brown and Snoopy were on a flight. Flight attendant walks up to them and says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve Peanuts on this flight."
                          Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                          "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                          Patreon for exclusive writing content
                          Adventures With Amber Marie

                          Comment


                          • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                            Sheep dog: All 30 sheep are ready, farmer.
                            Farmer: But I only count 26.
                            Sheep dog: I know; I rounded them up.

                            This one is pretty baaad, even by my standards.
                            Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                            "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                            Patreon for exclusive writing content
                            Adventures With Amber Marie

                            Comment


                            • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                              Seen on a T-shirt:

                              "I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
                              "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

                              "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

                              "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

                              "People generally are most impatient with those flaws in others about which they are most ashamed of in themselves." - folk wisdom

                              Comment


                              • Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

                                So you're a vegan, and that means you won't wear leather. Are you sure your opinion can't be suede?
                                Facebook: bcowles920 Instagram: missthundercat01
                                "One word frees us from the weight and pain of this life. That word is love."- Socrates
                                Patreon for exclusive writing content
                                Adventures With Amber Marie

                                Comment

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