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Thread: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

  1. #461
    NEVER DIE! ShirtlessBob's Avatar
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    Happy Pi Day!

    What is Sir Isaac Newton's favorite dessert?

    Apple pi.

  2. #462
    not particularly bad
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    You can't run through a campground. You can only ran because it's past tents.

  3. #463
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    When a dog is overheated, it doesn't wear a shirt, just pants.
    "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

    "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

  4. #464
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    On the news tonight, I saw that a man in boxers led police on a brief chase.

  5. #465

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    Quote Originally Posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
    On the news tonight, I saw that a man in boxers led police on a brief chase.
    #TightyWhitiesMatter

  6. #466
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolverineTrumpet View Post
    You can't run through a campground. You can only ran because it's past tents.
    Camping: it's in tents!

  7. #467
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    I'd like to thank everyone who helped me define the word "many." It really means a lot.

  8. #468
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    Whenever I console a grammar Nazi, I give them a hug and say there, they're, their.

  9. #469

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    Quote Originally Posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
    Whenever I console a grammar Nazi, I give them a hug and say there, they're, their.
    Here hear!

  10. #470
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    I saw a line in an interview with Michael Weatherly. Apparently he was in an episode of The Cosby Show as Theo's college roommate. He had a casting call for a recurring role, and he showed up with a subway token taped to his forehead.

    "Who are you?" he was asked.
    -- the token white guy.

    He was not asked to return.
    "Hope is a good thing; maybe the best of things."

    "Beer is a sign that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -- Benjamin Franklin

    "Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy." -- W. B. Yeats

  11. #471

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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

  12. #472
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    This one is from Rocko's Modern Life:

    "I wanted to be a surgeon, but I just couldn't cut it!"
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  13. #473
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    If you think microwaves spying on you is bad, remember that your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  14. #474
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Quote Originally Posted by ShirtlessBob View Post
    If you think microwaves spying on you is bad, remember that your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
    No way! That sucks.

  15. #475
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Last year, I joined a self-help group for procrastinators. They keep saying "we'll meet tomorrow..."
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  16. #476
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Saw this on a church sign, and maybe joecct will add on:

    "Jesus changed a grave situation."
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  17. #477
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Cashew (n): The sound of a nut sneezing
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  18. #478
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    I stopped believing for a little while this morning. Journey is going to be so mad...
    twitter: PipersHouse920
    “Don't bend; don't water it down; don't try to make it logical; don't edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.”
    ― Franz Kafka
    269/1,000 miles ran, 0/2,000 on bicycle
    Next race: FUNderwear Run 5K on March 12, Irish Jig 5K on March 18.

  19. #479
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    Most people should have known the Soviet Union would collapse. There were red flags everywhere.

  20. #480
    Kichizapi Chetan
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    Re: Really Terrible Puns, v 10

    A friend of mine who's really into plants was telling me that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation.

    When I expressed doubts, they looked me and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas?"
    The preceding post may contain trigger words and is not safe-space approved.

    North Dakota Hockey:

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