View Full Version : Maggie Joyce Facts........
freak
11-13-2006, 10:21 AM
Just thought we ought to keep an accurate record. :D
1. Guns Don't Kill People. Maggie Joyce Does.
2. Every night before bed, the Boogeyman checks his closet for Maggie Joyce.
3. Maggie Joyce has two speeds. Walk and Kill.
4. Maggie Joyce is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
5. Maggie Joyce doesn't go around people; she goes through them.
6. The Great Wall of China was built to keep Maggie Joyce out. It failed.
7. Maggie Joyce doesn't play the point on the PP, because in the U.S. her slap shot is considered "assault with intent to kill."
8. If Maggie Joyce wants to, she can hit you so hard that she'll kill your whole family.
And you wonder why borderline calls go against her:
The tying goal came on a PP for a borderline call on Joyce...
freak
11-13-2006, 10:43 AM
9. Minnesota was nicknamed the Land of 10,000 Lakes due to the massive flooding caused by the tears of Maggie Joyce's victims.
thumbtack
11-13-2006, 01:47 PM
Chuck Norris wants his facts back.
brookyone
11-13-2006, 02:09 PM
http://www.collegehockeystats.net/0607/boxes/wbc_unh1.n02
Looks as though a few fleet footed BC forwards went around or through #20...and lived to tell about it. I think their families members survived as well. Not to worry...they'd no doubt smoke Norris too.
freak
11-13-2006, 05:02 PM
10. Maggie Joyce is the reason that OBL hides in caves.
UNHKazooMonkey
11-13-2006, 06:15 PM
I have a feeling you two are going to be spending a lot of time in here
freak
11-13-2006, 06:41 PM
I have a feeling you two are going to be spending a lot of time in here
I hope not too much time. :p I was originally just gonna post what has already gone up on the white board, and then keep the list updated. But then I came up with some others and figured I'd post 'em. Then the goophers wanted to play, so I figured I'd indulge them a bit.
12. Saddam was happy with his sentence, for now he will not have to live in fear of Maggie Joyce.
ClOuD 9
11-13-2006, 09:40 PM
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Maggie Joyce allows to live.
ClOuD 9
11-13-2006, 09:49 PM
Maggie Joyce counted to infinity - twice. (definitely has to be made in to a sign when we play Dartmouth)
Maggie Joyce can slam a revolving door.
Maggie Joyce does not get frostbite. Maggie Joyce bites frost.
ClOuD 9
11-13-2006, 10:07 PM
Maggie Joyce can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. (another sign for Dartmouth)
Maggie Joyce is the only woman to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually a warning that the spot belongs to Maggie Joyce and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
dogskate
11-13-2006, 10:25 PM
Maggie Joyce can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. (another sign for Dartmouth)
Maggie Joyce is the only woman to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually a warning that the spot belongs to Maggie Joyce and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
I think Maggie Joyce is a very good player. I find this thread distasteful.
ClOuD 9
11-13-2006, 10:45 PM
I think Maggie Joyce is a very good player. I find this thread distasteful.
I think you need to lighten up, we are also big fans of Ms. Joyce and it is not meant to belittle her at all. She is well aware of the "Kill Joyce Kill" pseudonym and has even posed with the signs for photos.
terry.cahill
11-14-2006, 02:53 AM
good one cloud 9. you can copy and paste from those chuck norris one-liners
sk8happy
11-14-2006, 06:46 AM
I think you need to lighten up, we are also big fans of Ms. Joyce and it is not meant to belittle her at all. She is well aware of the "Kill Joyce Kill" pseudonym and has even posed with the signs for photos.
Maggie is a terrific player. Anyone who follows the team knows that Cloud, Freak & Gang are big fans of hers.
I thought Maggie had one of her best weekends last week versus SLU. She's a physical force to be sure, but she's got a lot of talent as well. I know she was struggling earlier this year, but like all good players, they work themselves back to form. Great Job Maggie, keep up the good work!!
ClOuD 9
11-14-2006, 09:39 AM
good one cloud 9. you can copy and paste from those chuck norris one-liners
It actually began on accident, she ended up knocking over a few players on one shift last season and the quote from Happy Gilmore ("Guns don't kill people, I do!") came in to my mind, so I shouted it and replaced the ending with Maggie Joyce, needless to say a lot of people started laughing so it kind of took on a life of it's own from there. When we played Brown the players all skated up to the shirt Freak made and taped to the glass (same quote) one by one and were laughing their asses off, so if we can bring a little humor to the games then where is the crime? Laughing never killed anyone, but Maggie Joyce has.
dogskate
11-14-2006, 11:59 AM
I think you need to lighten up, we are also big fans of Ms. Joyce and it is not meant to belittle her at all. She is well aware of the "Kill Joyce Kill" pseudonym and has even posed with the signs for photos.
Point taken. I have always admired her heart and intensity. I've never played against her, but think of her as a "clean" player without the tendency to gratuitous cheap shots that one sees all too often.
freak
11-14-2006, 02:27 PM
Also, these are not all "Chuck Norris" lines.
The OBL and Saddam lines were two suggestions for the white board on Sunday. The MN line was in response to the goophers.....who apparently wanted to make a light-hearted thread into a serious one. The PP line I came up with. And the "kill your whole family" line is a play off of a similar line from the movie "Diner."
20. Maggie Joyce doesn't shoot 5-hole. Her shot creates it's own hole.
The MN line was in response to the goophers.....who apparently wanted to make a light-hearted thread into a serious one.Subtle humor isn't funny if you have to stop and say "BY THE WAY THE FOLLOWING IS A JOKE." My serious posts tend to be more hockey based.
freak
11-14-2006, 02:55 PM
Subtle humor isn't funny if you have to stop and say "BY THE WAY THE FOLLOWING IS A JOKE." My serious posts tend to be more hockey based.
Your post seemed more a crack on me.
21. Ronald Reagan signed the INF Treaty because Maggie Joyce's birth made nuclear weapons obsolete.
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